Yichud

Yichud ( _he. איסור ייחוד "isur yichud", trans. "Seclusion"), in Jewish Law, is the seclusion of a man and a woman in a closed room or a private area. Such seclusion is prohibited when the man and woman are not married to each other, to prevent the two from coming to commit promiscuous acts.

ource of the law

There is a Biblical prohibition against a man being alone with a married woman or a woman who is a Niddah. After the rape of King David's daughter Tamar when she was left alone with her half-brother Amnon, David and his high court extended this prohibition to all unmarried girls. ["Shulkhan Arukh" "Even HaEzer" 22,2]

These rules are discussed in the Talmud, Tractate Kiddushin 80b ff and Tractate Sanhedrin 21.

Laws of Yichud

The laws of "Yichud" provide for strong restrictions on unrelated members of the opposite sex being secluded together, and milder ones for close family members. While some are compulsory, others are recommended. For example:
*Siblings of opposite sexes should not live together on a permanent basis. If no suitable living arrangements can be made otherwise, it is best that at least one sibling be away from home as much of the time as possible, and when both are home and when doing so does not jeopardize the safety of either sibling or their property, to leave the door to the dwelling open. Siblings should also refrain from sleeping in the same room, and when this is not possible, should have a mechitza (partition) between their beds. An individual is permitted to stay with an opposite-sex sibling if visiting from out-of-town, though s/he should stay in a separate room.
*A parent and grown opposite-sex child who each have their own dwellings should not be secluded together if avoidable. This is particularly the case of a father and daughter. However, a child, adolescent, or young adult yet to have reached sufficient maturity to live away from his/her parents may dwell together with one's parents, even a single parent of the opposite sex. For a grown child, if no suitable separate arrangements can be made, a parent and child of any age may dwell together, but should sleep in separate rooms. If this is not possible, a partition should be present between their beds. Also, a child may stay with a parent if visiting from out of town, or visa versa. If a parent and opposite-sex child find themselves in a temporary situation (such as a hotel) together, and only one bed is available, they may sleep together in the same bed, provided that both are dressed according to the laws of tznius while in bed, though every effort must be made to avoid this situation.
*Other relatives (including grandparents, grandchildren, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, cousins, and those related only by marriage) are treated as non-relatives in relation to all yichud laws.
*Seclusion is only prohibited when there is but a lone man present. Additionally, the presence of older children, the man's close female relatives or his wife would negate the prohibition. In these instances, the presence of the other individuals would serve to provide a check on the man's behavior. One additional, unrelated woman or any number of minors (under 13) do not negate the yichud laws.
*An adult woman should not babysit a boy 9 or older. An adult man should not babysit a girl 3 or older.
*A person providing care to a dependent adult of the opposite sex may be secluded with that individual for the purpose of providing care. Even when a same sex caregiver is available, if the dependent adult prefers the care of the opposite sex caregiver or otherwise receives better care, this is permitted.
*An unrelated male and female adult may become roommates if any other living arrangement would cause either one an economic hardship that may be life-threatening, or if all other possible living arrangements would leave either one without a practical walk to a synagogue or a kosher kitchen. When this occurs, each must have a separate room with a lock to which the other does not have a key, and at least two other people (one male and one female) who live nearby should be provided with a key to access common areas at any time. Such an arrangement is not preferable and should be avoided if all possible.
*A man and woman who are engaged to be married but are not married should not dwell together, but may dwell under the same roof together with two more other people, but should not share a room. If an engaged man and woman are left with no choice but to dwell together when doing otherwise may be life-threatening to either, the two must sleep in separate beds, separated by a partition, and if possible, in separate rooms. At least two other people (one male and one female) who live nearby should be provided with keys to access their dwelling. This is never a preferred arrangement. A man and woman who are engaged but not yet married should also not stay on a temporary basis together, such as in a hotel.
*A man and woman who are not related or married, but are together in a public place, should walk or sit together in a manner differently from that of relatives or spouses. Keeping a greater distance between them is recommended. If, in such an environment, it is known to all around they are not related or married, and such contact can normally be expected (such as in a workplace), no special changes need be made, but care should be taken to avoid accidental physical contact.
*In a location of business, a male and female may be together for business purposes provided that the location where they are has a window from which activity in the room can be viewed from outside. If the two must hold a private business meeting, it may take place in a room that does not contain any furniture that can be used as a bed (such as a sofa). Also, two or more people should have immediate physical access to the room.
*Two unrelated, opposite-sex persons may travel in a vehicle together within the local area, but should not take out-of-town trips together, especially if they will not be able to return on the same day. When the two opposite sex persons are in the same automobile, it is advisable the passenger sit in the rear seats. While halakha allows for a minor child (under 13) to sit in front under these circumstances, safety recommendations in modern automobiles which are legally mandated in some places call for minors this age to sit in the rear seats.
*On a bus, train, or airplane, sitting adjacent to a member of the opposite sex is permitted, but one should not go out of their way to do so. If one has been preassigned a seat, it is preferred that s/he keep his/her seating arrangements rather than make a special request to switch, since this may inconvenience others and possibly delay the service.
*There are no restrictions on being secluded together momentarily in a temporary environment, such as an elevator. Since elevators are boarded constantly, there is always a chance that anyone could enter without warning.

In marriage

Yichud is also part of the Ashkenazic Jewish wedding ceremony. The newly married couple publicly seclude themselves in a closed room for several minutes.

Conservative and Reform Judaism

Adherents of Conservative and Reform Judaism do not generally abide by the laws of Yichud.

References

ee also

*Jewish view of marriage
*Negiah (guidelines for physical contact)
*Niddah (menstruation laws)
*Rebbetzin (rabbi's wife)
*Role of women in Judaism
*Shalom Bayis (peace and harmony in the relationship between husband and wife)
*Shidduch (finding a marriage partner)
*Tzeniut (modest behavior)

External links

* [http://www.koltorah.org/ravj/The%20Yichud%20Prohibition%20-%20Part%201.htm The Yichud Prohibition- Part One: To Whom Does It Apply?]
* [http://www.koltorah.org/ravj/The%20Yichud%20Prohibition%20-%20Part%202.htm The Yichud Prohibition- Part Two: Exceptions and Specific Situations]