The Turncake Project

The Turncake Project are a major upcoming band in current barbershop metal scene. Their characteristic sound is comprised of fast paced punk rhythms and their trade mark 10 minute clapping solos.

Backstory

They originate from Northern Ireland and are currently all members of Regent House School in Newtwonards. They have recently found a niche market in Japan and have signed their first record deal with Team Conroy Records Ltd. They are touring all over the earth later this year and details can be found on their website [www.turncake.com] . Following their recent success in Japan and Mongolia they have sold 23.7 million copies of their debut album "Sliced Bread" and expectations for their latest album "The Best Thing Since" are high. They were formed in 2000 when a group of like minded individuals realised their shared love of pteradactyls, cheap cologne and barber shop metal. They quickly developed a triple axe attack and a love for drum and bass. What ya gonna do?

These people were:

Artistes

Thomas Bone= Vocals
Samuel Boy= Guitar
Kyle Nose= Guitar
David Beard= Guitar
Paul Pongpong= Bass
Houston= Percussion

This line-up is a rock solid group of tykes and tear aways whose anti-capitalist views have had them banned and exiled from various countries all over the U.S.A.

The band has since took up a lawsuit angainst the U.S.A. and has swore to pour every penny they win into the mongolian barbershop metal scene. It is believed the number 1 hit "steal from the bastards and give to Orientals" took it's inspiration from the ordeal. Despite heavy media pressure George W. Bush has refused to comment publicly on the Turncakes Excile.

The Following is A List Of The TurnCakes Songs And Albums:

The Turncakes : Oops Wrong Turn!1.Turn Baby Turn2.Slice of Heaven3.My Turn!4.My Biggest MisCake5.BackFire At The Bakery6.Totally Baked

A Turning Cake Gathers No Moss

1.I Think im Turning Veitnamese2.Two Teirs of Iced Love3.Flour, Eggs, ACTION.

Cake Trouble :The Turning of a Revolution

1.Welcome to Cake Country, No brownies2.Burn The Brownies3.Where are All The Brownies Coming From?4.Chocolate Cake? I Dont Think so.5.Pongpong's your Sugar Daddy

The 'Cakes Last Slice

1.One in the oven2.SelfRaised3.Thrown in the mix4.The Secret Ingredient5.Tackle The Turncake6.If I'd Known You Were Comin'

Artisticles Backstory

Houston "Houston" Houston- Originally named Frank Mugglestone by his dirty muggle father he quickly shed his real name and took on the veiled helm of a warrior of justice. His job at the legion of doom wasn't really working and so he reverted to his old livestock stealling ways while making a tidy living on the illegal baby market as a fetus merchant. Whilst beating the skull of a baby into a more attractive shape one day he discovered an unnatural talent for percussion. He sold his company to Sam McKee and moved to Mongolia where he replaced current 'Cake drummer Floyd Collins. The rest as they say is boring.

Paul PongPong- Paul Was Summoned To The Earth By The Great Wizard of Amonroo. Origionally a Stone Golem Type Creature He Befriended a Skilled Necromancer who used the blood of a thousand demons, and an ancient decayed wolf carcus to create the man beast that leaves his fans screaming in the agony of an eardrum that is no more. Pongpong, cast out of his local Hillian Village as a result of his love of 'Fingering' turned his obsession to the greater good, when he Invented The Bass Guitar, Called the 'Bass' As he used the whiskers of the Golden Gilled Rainbow bass to create the Strings that salvaged his otherwise desolate mortality. Paul is now a legend to BarberShop Metal Zooligists, and anglers alike. Kudos To Your PongPong.

Kyle Nose- Unfortunately not much is known of Kyle's early years as when he was discovered by mankind, he was scientifically proven to be older than the hills. Many rumours are in circulation in regards to his biology, some claiming he has the pancreas of a stoat, some that he has the eyes of voles and some that he has the wolfen growl of a badger. So far no rumours have been proven or disproven. Since his discovery by fellow band member "Houston" Houston in the early late-spring season of 'aught eight, he has been playing the part of a socialite and can regularly be seen in glossy magazines with fellow band member David Beard in tow. Kyle is frequently referred to in fan circles as El Pompador, and is well renowned for his ominous-sounding catch phrase, 'Gravy and Puddin' please, Mrs Jacobi, and a tuppen'orth of milk to boot!'

David Beard- Changed his name when he was 14 form Davir Rathbuthan in an attept to is break free from the well known German aristocratic crime familly. David ran away from home at 13 to try and put a stop to his familys' cooking and eating of monkfish without presenting them to the queen(this was the famillys main source of income). Not much is trully known from this point in Davids' history untill present day when he appeared as an unlikley member of the now popular babreshop metal band, but there are many rumours circulating including he was a Senior advisor to the Queens' secret poilce, making him the second youngest adviser in history to the Shinshickolata at the tender age of 15.

Thomas Bone- Thomas Bone othermise known as Boney Mac first founded his love for singing when he was a mere child of seven years old, growing up was hard on the lad, this was mostly due to the hardship he endured from an abusive mother (Known to him as "the WolfMother")her identity is kept hidden for legal reasons. But over the years growing up became easier when Boney be-friended a spriteful young song bird known to be a blue tit, which would explain the,(described by Kerrang magazine as "unorthadox"), first album cover.