The Petriot Act

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Petriot Act
Series = King of the Hill


Caption =
Season = 9
Episode = 6
Airdate = February 13, 2005
Production = 9ABE06
Writer =
Director =
Guests =
Episode list = List of King of the Hill episodes
Prev = Dale to the Chief
Next = Enrique-cilable Differences

The Petriot Act is the 177^th episode in the Fox animated
situation comedy series King of the Hill and was the 6th episode of the 9th season. The episode's title refers to the Patriot Act.

Plot

Bill arrives in the alley with a spirited golden retriever named Buster, and explains that he's part of a program that takes care of soldiers' pets while they are on active duty. Hank is excited to learn that civilians are eligible for the program as well. Peggy is busy planning the family vacation to Memphis and Nashville, and agrees to let Hank participate as long as it doesn't interfere with the trip. Hank tells the military that he can't take a pet until after their trip.

While Buster impresses everyone with his intelligence, such as getting Bill a fresh beer, Hank looks forward to taking care of "Duke". The Army calls and needs Hank to take Duke immediately, which causes some concern about the vacation, but Hank says they can put Duke up at the same farm where Ladybird will be staying. However, when Duke arrives, he turns out to be a temperamental and mean-spirited cat instead.

Hank is upset at having a cat, but tries to the make the most of it. The pet store talks him into buying expensive "scientific" cat food, and Duke ruins dinner by coughing up a hairball on the table and scratching Hank's face, then soiling his shoes. Peggy suggests that something might be wrong with the cat, but Hank has to take the cat to an expensive vet for care, which cuts into their vacation money. Dr. Leslie claims he has to run a battery of expensive tests to ensure that Hank is doing "everything possible" to take care of Duke, and convinces Hank to buy even more expensive cat food. While being charged for the visit in the lobby, Hank encounters a veterinary equipment salesman, and complains about the expense, which cuts out a riverboat gambling stop on their vacation.

Dr. Leslie calls to say that Duke's tests were mostly normal, but he needs even more tests and an expensive cat wheelchair. The ungrateful cat continues to make life miserable for the Hills, even as Buster helps Bill to get a date. Upset, they take Duke to their family veterinarian, who respects Dr. Leslie but tells Hank that Duke is just a normal cat, and he has to run all the tests to justify the expense of his machines. The equipment salesman is there, and tells Hank that one machine Dr. Leslie is missing is one so expensive to buy that no one can make money with it. Hank blackmails Leslie into signing off on Duke's condition by threatening to tell his patients about the new machine.

With their finances drained, the Hills must settle for a "vacation" at a local rib joint, while Bill returns Buster to his Blue Angel owner, and gets a ride home in a jet plane.

Quotes

*Dale: {when Duke attacks Hank in the alley} "Looks like the "cat"'s out of the bag! Ha-ha.. this is a "cat"-astrophe! Ha-ha...uhm.."cat"! ...uh.. you got a cat!"

*Hank: "But he keeps vomiting.":Dr. Yandell: "Cats vomit. They eat poop and vomit. That's what they do."