Dear Santa (song)

"Dear Santa" is a novelty song by American stand up comedian Sean Morey. It is a holiday staple of The Bob & Tom Show.

The song takes the form of letters written by children to Santa Claus requesting what presents they want for Christmas. Each line begins with "Dear Santa," and the list moves back and forth between a relatively normal selection of toys and a more outlandish choice for a child. For example:

Billy, from Dallas: a Big Wheel with air conditioning package, power steering, CD player, and a Sony PlayStation.

Raul, from Venezuela: a stick, to burn for heat.

Jessica, from Aspen: Barbie dream house with electric sports car and lots of outfits, and matching outfits for her, too.

Lupe, from Paraguay: some rain, so he can stop drinking his own urine.

Joe, from North Chicago: a new bike, G.I. Joe with kung fu grip and grenade launcher

Aziz, from Yemen: a grenade launcher

Jimmy, from Greenwich: Electric train set with the whole mountains and village, and a robot to clean his room.

Chang, from Laos: electric scooter, surfboard, roller blades, and a CD-ROM player ("just kidding," Morey then says – "I want a stick.")

[gibberish name], from Calcutta: a flyswatter that doesn't hurt when one hits themselves in the face with it, and some OFF!.

the children of the world: Sean Morey to be struck dead, even if it means some don't get their sticks.