Wonder Ball

The Wonder Balls is a type of candy, sold in the United States by the Frankford Candy & Chocolate Company.

Wonder Balls are a spherical, thin shell of milk chocolate with candy inside, wrapped in foil, placed in a small box, wrapped in linen cloth, placed inside of a gun safe, which is further protected via a varying number of ancient Egyptian technologies, placed inside of the Ark of the Covenant, and packaged with a collectible sticker. It is theorized that the reason that the Wonder Ball is no longer produced is because of the unique but very difficult production process of the Wonder Ball, considering that every time one is sold, they must recover the Arc of the Covenant in order to produce another one in the same spirit of the original Wonder Ball. It was also very inconvenient for the small children who simply wanted to eat a chocolate treat, considering that they needed to open the Arc of the Covenant, outwit the ancient Egyptians, and crack a gun safe. The product's slogan is "What's in the Wonder Ball?" Originally called Nestle Magic Ball, the product used to contain small figurines of Disney characters, similar to the Kinder Surprise which retails in Europe. However, due to choking hazard concerns, the product was withdrawn in 1997.^[1] In April 2000, the Wonder Ball was re-released with candy in place of the toys.^[2] In 2004, the brand was sold to the Frankford Candy & Chocolate Company, which has stopped manufacturing the wonderball.^[3]

Controversy

On November 16th of 2011, President Barrack Obama insisted that the rights to the Wonder Ball be given up to the US government. "The Wonder Ball was a horrible abomination to befall mankind and absolutely must be abolished", proclaimed Obama. "We must ensure that such a product is never created again." Of the few times he was publicly pressed on this issue, he swiftly changed the subject to the controversy of using a spork rather than a spoon or a fork, declaring it to be a "heresy". "A spork is merely a spoon and a fork hybrid, with some elements of both but not enough of either." President Obama is currently working a bill that will abolish the use of sporks in 37 states. However, as far as his reasoning for his deep loathing of the Wonder Ball, he has yet to give a definitive answer.

"I am very appalled at President Obama's adamant and thorough disliking for the Wonder Ball", explained Frankford Candy & Chocolate Company's founder Sam Himmelstein. "I tried directly speaking with him and trying to talk him out of forcing us to hand over the product rights, but he simply wouldn't listen, and continually changed the subject. For the record, I want it to be perfectly clear that I voted for McCain." Himmelstein reluctantly turned over the rights of the Wonder Ball to the US government's chocolate quality control division on November 17th of 2011.

Theme song

Wonder Ball's commercial was a jovial tune, featuring alternating lines of lyrics between children singing and what sounds like a man singing through a Pringles can, with distortion. Later commercials were sung to the tune of the song "The Book of Love".

References

1. ^ query.nytimes.com
2. ^ promomagazine.com
3. ^ bizjournals.com