One-line joke

One-line joke

A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy.[1]

Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their act, e.g. Rodney Dangerfield, Bruce Campbell, Steven Wright, Emo Philips, Tommy Cooper, Mark Linn-Baker, Henny Youngman, Mitch Hedberg, Dan Mintz, Zach Galifianakis, Demetri Martin, Jimmy Carr, Anthony Jeselnik, Tim Vine, Milton Jones, Shmuel Breban, Stewart Francis etc.

Examples

  • "Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks." (Anonymous)
  • "A baby seal walks into a club." (Anonymous)
  • "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." (Anonymous)
  • "I heard on the radio the other day that Labour is suffering from 'internal squabbles'; I know what happened -- they all turned up to work in the same colour tie" (Violet Bedwell-Clayton)
  • "My friend told me the other day 'I wont be able to get to sleep tonight.' I replied with one word 'Chloroform'" (Violet Bedwell-Clayton)
  • "Here was the sort of man you only dared to cross if you had a team of Sherpas with you." (Douglas Adams)
  • "I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't snort, and I don't gamble. I do lie a little bit though." (Tim Maia)
  • "I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV." (David Recksiek)
  • "Black Beauty. He was a dark horse." (Tim Vine)
  • "Bigfoot is blurry, it's not the photographer's fault." (Mitch Hedberg)
  • "I have nothing to declare except my genius." (Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs 1882[2])
  • "Race is just a pigment of the imagination" (Glen Highland)
  • "If all those sweet young things were laid end to end – I wouldn't be a bit surprised." (Dorothy Parker, on girls attending a Yale prom[3])
  • "So, have you noticed there aren't a lot of Chinese guys named Rusty?" (George Carlin)
  • "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." (Groucho Marx)
  • "Take my wife – please!" (Henny Youngman)
  • "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades" (Demetri Martin)
  • "My friend has difficulty sleeping, but I can do it with my eyes closed." (Shmuel Breban)
  • "A couple of days ago I was in a boat travelling from island to island. Now I'm back home, the closest thing we have to an island is a roundabout" (Violet Bedwell-Clayton)
  • "If it wasn't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all." (Rodney Dangerfield)
  • "Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur." (Milton Jones)
  • "My mom bought me a memory pillow a couple of years ago... I don't tell secrets in my bedroom anymore." (Bink)
  • "Ah, nostalgia ain't what it used to be..." (English Proverb)
  • "I have a map of the world... it's actual size." (Steven Wright)
  • "I live in a two-income household, but who knows how long my mom can keep that up." (Shmuel Breban)
  • "I quit my job at the helium factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone." (Stewart Francis)
  • "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum." (Nada in They Live[4])
  • "People laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now." (Bob Monkhouse)
  • "Venison's dear, isn't it?" (Jimmy Carr)
  • "Get me a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy" (Anonymous)
  • "You've heard the saying that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time a mousetrap snaps, an angel gets set on fire." (Jack Handey)

See also

References

  1. ^ The Unuttered Punch Line:Pragmatic Incongruity and the Parsing of “What’s the Difference” Jokes, K.E.L. Miller, [1]
  2. ^ "Number 64300". The Columbia World of Quotations. 1996. http://www.bartleby.com/66/0/64300.html. Retrieved 2007-06-20. 
  3. ^ Tuleja, Tad (1994). The New York Public Library Book of Popular Americana. Macmillan. p. 287. ISBN 0671899872.  Originally quoted in Leach, Joshua (1934). "Our Mrs. Parker". While Rome Burns. Viking Press. p. 149. "And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs. Parker said, she wouldn’t be at all surprised."  Cited in "Number 43615". The Columbia World of Quotations. 1996. http://www.bartleby.com/66/15/43615.html. Retrieved 2007-06-20. 
  4. ^ "Chew Bubblegum". TV Tropes. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChewBubblegum. Retrieved 2010-08-08. 

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