Dark Lord of Derkholm

Dark Lord of Derkholm
Author(s)	Diana Wynne Jones
Cover artist	Joseph A. Smith
Country	Great Britain
Language	English
Series	The Derkholm Series
Genre(s)	Fantasy, High Fantasy
Publisher	various
Publication date	1998
Media type	Print
Pages	528 (Paperback edition)
ISBN	ISBN 0-06-447336-8 (Paperback edition)
OCLC Number	46762567
LC Classification	CPB Box no. 1955 vol. 3
Followed by	Year of the Griffin

The Dark Lord of Derkholm is a fantasy novel written by Diana Wynne Jones, which won the 1999 Mythopoeic Fantasy Award for Children's Literature. It takes place in a parody of a high fantasy world similar to that first explored in Jones' humorous guidebook in the Rough Guide model, The Tough Guide to Fantasyland.

Plot introduction

In a magical alternative world, Mr. Chesney's Pilgrim Parties descend once a year from (presumably) our world, expecting all the trappings of a fantasy land: the evil Dark Lord, the Glamorous Enchantress, attacks from Leathery-Winged Avians, and wise Wizard Guides. The real fantasy world is nothing like that. But Mr. Chesney is backed by a very powerful demon, so the entire world must put on an enormous act, just for the tourists, and it is devastating the fantasy world. The farmlands are laid to waste, populations slain, dragons and elves are unable to mate, and if they do not cooperate, the demon will come after them.

At the suggestion of the Head of University, Querida, the all-knowing Oracles are consulted on how to end the carnage wreaked by the tours. It appears that the only way to end the tours is to make the (apparently incompetent) Wizard Derk the next Dark Lord, and his son, Blade, the Wizard Guide for the final tour.

Plot

Derk and Blade are horrified, as are the other wizards, but Querida insists, and Derk, assisted by his faithful friend Barnabas, reluctantly sets about evil-fying his home. This evil-fying - according to Mr. Chesney - must include a demon. Derk is useless at this kind of magic, and it is arranged that Querida will be the one doing the summoning for him. But, after an unfortunate accident that results in Querida being put in a healing coma, he must summon a demon himself. His summoning goes badly wrong, and - although he meant to summon a small, easily-controlled demon - he ends up with a huge blue demon he cannot bind. It goes off and away into fantasyland, saying it has someone else to deal with.

Just before the tours begin, an ancient dragon who has been asleep for the past three hundred years and therefore is unaware of Mr. Chesney and the tours turns up under the misapprehension that Derk really is a Dark Lord who rules the world. On discovering that he is wrong and that it's all just a game, the dragon is infuriated and burns Derk. Although he is not killed and a healer is quickly called, he is unfit to do anything, let alone be Dark Lord and run the tours, for at least five days. However, the tours must go ahead, so his children set about organizing the tour for him.

When the Dark Lord's army arrives (in reality, extremely violent, drugged criminals that Mr Chesney has agreed to get rid of for the governments of his world), Blade, Kit, Lydda, Callette, Shona, and Don have no idea what to do - but Kit, both the eldest griffin and possessing the most commanding personality, soon takes control, and they begin the process of moving the soldiers to their permanent camp miles away, laying waste to the lands as they go. However, it is not long before the drugs wear off and they start to lose control of the soldiers, and it is only the timely intervention of the dragon, named Scales, that prevents a mass break-out by the Dark Army. Meanwhile, Derk is convalescing back at Derkholm/The Dark Citadel. His wife Mara seems to be on the brink of leaving him, and is enjoying the part of the Glamorous Enchantress rather too much.

But just as things are going according to plan, Blade is called away to take charge of his Pilgrim Party. Shona accompanies him, and things rapidly get out of hand. Shona falls in love with the "expendable" (read - to be killed off "accidentally") Pilgrim Geoffrey; Blade has to cope with the unwelcome attentions of Geoffrey's sister Sukey; the Pilgrim Reville seems to be more at home in Blade's world than the others; and the mysterious Professor Ledbury refuses to relinquish his longjohns, which generally are not allowed on tours.

After a long and eventful tour, Blade (relying on his own terrible sense of direction) manages to get the party badly lost in the wastelands. Matters are worsened when Blade, Sukey and Reville all vanish into the night, leaving Shona to lead the party straight back to Derkholm, for want of an alternative.

Meanwhile, Blade, Sukey and Reville are not doing well. The night they disappeared, what had really happened was that Sukey had been kidnapped by a gang of runaway Dark Soldiers. Reville (hopelessly in love with Sukey) and Blade (not) both give chase, and catch up with them near a mysterious mine.

The mine, it turns out, is being run by Mr. Chesney and Derk's friend Barnabas. The purpose of it is to mine out plain earth for export to Earth - the magical properties inherent in the earth of Blade's world makes it a valuable power source in Chesney's. However, before they can escape, the three are seen by guards, and although Sukey and Reville escape, Blade is captured. He is sent to Costamaret to fight as a gladiator.

When he is forced to fight he discovers, to his horror, that his opponent is none other than his griffin brother, Kit, captured in battle. They try to false-fight, but moments before they will be forced to kill each other, Scales arrives and airlifts them both out of the arena.

When they arrive back at Derkholm, things are in a bad way. Derk, believing Kit to be dead, has gone into a state of deep depression. He refuses to let any of the Pilgrims return home and will not carry out any of the Dark Lord's duties, up to and including eating, sleeping or washing. The Citadel is in chaos, Pilgrims are camped in the valley, dragons are roosting in the hills, dwarfs are in the kitchen, Querida's on the terrace, Derk's living in the pigsty, and then Mr. Chesney arrives. He is not happy.

Just as crippling fines are about to be levied, the Final Pilgrim Party arrives. In this final showdown, many mysteries are resolved, including Mara's apparent unfaithfulness, Querida's plan, and the real identities of most of the Final Pilgrim Party...

Principal Characters

• Wizard Derk: A wizard specializing in genetics, especially the creation of new animals. He is considered by others to be an incompetent bungler, but really is just a different sort of magic user from everyone else. He is selected as this year's Dark Lord.
• Mara: Derk's wife. She is this year's chosen Glamorous Enchantress.
• Mr. Chesney: An off-worlder who runs the Pilgrim Parties. Cruel and unrepentant, he doesn't really think that Blade's world is real, and therefore has no hesitation in exploiting everyone in it.
• Querida: One of the most powerful wizards in the world. She runs the University of Magic. She is rather amoral, causing Mara to leave and not understanding why Derk is devastated when he believes Kit and Blade to be dead.

Derk and Mara have five griffin children and two human children:

• Shona: Derk's human daughter and eldest child. She aspires to be a bard, and is devastated when the Bardic College expels her for taking part in the Pilgrim Parties. She is very attractive, musically talented, and very bossy.
• Kit: Derk's elder griffin son. He is distinctive for his large size and black colouring. He is aggressive and forthright most of the time and enjoys the battles and the Wild Hunt, but is brought under control partly by his father and partly by Deucalion, who is the only person he knows who is bigger than him.
• Blade: Derk's human son and one of this year's Wizard Guides.
• Callette: Derk's eldest griffin daughter. She is very creative, and creates the gizmos for the Pilgrim Parties. She is a high-energy flier, and can only go for twenty miles at most without needing a break to rest and eat.
• Don: Derk's younger griffin son. He is lazy, but because of his exceptionally beautiful golden coat and attractive appearance, finds it easy to manipulate others.
• Lydda: One of Derk's griffin daughters. Her hobby is cooking, and due to this she is rather overweight. She is a long-distance flier, and able to go for a hundred miles without stopping.
• Elda: Derk's youngest child, a griffin female. Like a human child, she likes glitter and sequins, and is much smaller than the other griffins. She wants to be a wizard.