Cross-sex friendship

A cross-sex friendship is one that is defined by a person having a friend of the opposite sex: a male who has a female friend, or a female who has a male friend.

History

Historically cross-sex friendships have been rare. This is caused by the fact that often men would labor in order to support themselves and their family, while women stayed at home and took care of the housework and children. The lack of contact led to men forming friendships exclusively with their colleagues, and women forming friendships with other stay at home mothers. However, as women attended schools more and as their presence in the workplace increased, the segregated friendship dynamic was altered, and cross-sex friendships began to increase.

In the famous comedy " [When Harry Met Sally...] ", Billy Crystal tells Meg Ryan that men and women can never be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way. However, sociologists and psychologists have acknowledged that although cross-sex relationships are an anomaly, they are far more common today than they were at the turn of the century.

Determinants of cross-sex relationships

Many factors are involved in determining if two individuals will form a cross-sex friendship. Including:

A woman is more likely to form a cross-sex friendship if she is in contact with a higher percentage of males than females in her everyday routine. However, daily contact is much less important in determining if males will form a cross-sex friendship.

A second factor that influences the formation and maintenance of cross-sex relationships is age. It has been determined that the general trend for cross-sex friendships is a peak during the person’s college age years, and a steady decline afterwards.

A third factor influencing cross-sex friendships is correlated with age: it is the relationship status of the individual in question, before and during the friendship. If a person is in a relationship or is married, they are far less likely to form a cross-sex relationship. Furthermore, men’s cross-sex friendships experience a steady decline after childbirth, while women’s cross-sex friendships experience a sharp drop following childbirth.

Another factor influencing cross-sex friendships are a person’s views regarding gender roles. The more traditional a person’s views regarding gender roles, the less likely they are to have cross-sex friendships. This is because they often feel strong favoritism towards their in-group, causing them to consider cross-sex relationships less rewarding. People with more traditional view regarding gender roles often have less cross-sex friendships because they view them as a direct challenge to the boundaries between the two sexes.

Cross-sex friendships are more likely if the woman has high self-esteem. They are also more likely if the male is suffering from social isolation.

Impediments to Cross-Sex Friendships

* Lack of a model of cross-sex friendships to follow.
* Existence of frequent sexual tension in the friendship.
* Members of society often presume a sexual involvement.
* Lack of support for cross-sex friendships from society.
* Inequality that still persists between men and women make cross-sex friendships more difficult.

Benefits of Cross-Sex Friendships

Cross-sex friendships may offer some benefits that same-sex friendships cannot provide:
* Find kinds of emotional support not always easily provided by same-sex friends.
* Cross-sex friends may provide the potential for longterm romantic partners.
* Obtain insider information about the opposite sex.
* Cross-sex friendships can sometimes be less emotionally demanding than same-sex friendships.

Bibliography

* Muraco, Anna. “Heterosexual Evaluations of Hypothetical Friendship Behavior Based on Sex and Sexual Orientation.” In Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2005, 22, 5, Oct, 587-605
* Kalmijn, Matthijs. “Sex Segregation of Friendship Networks: Individual and Structural Determinants of Having Cross-Sex Friends.” In European Sociological Review, 2002, 18, 1, Mar, 101-117
* Bleske, April L, Buss, David M “Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?” In Personal Relationships, 2000, 7, 2, June, 131-151
* Reeder, Heidi M. “The Effect of Gender Role Orientation on Same- and Cross-Sex Friendship Formation.” In Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 2003, 49, 3-4, Aug, 143-152

External links

* [http://www.DanBrennan.Typepad.com Faith Dance - Blog focusing on cross-sex friendship]