Pronoun game

"Playing the pronoun game" is the act of concealing sexual orientation in conversation by not using a gender-specific pronoun for a partner or a lover, which would reveal the sexual orientation of the person speaking. Most often, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people (LGB) employ the pronoun game when conversing with people to whom they have not "come out". In some situations, where a LGB person revealing one's sexual orientation would have adverse consequences (such as the loss of whose job), playing the pronoun game is seen to be a necessary act of concealment.

The pronoun game involves deception without lying, by letting the listener assume a sexual orientation that who would regard as inoffensive. It also involves not drawing the listener's attention to the fact that the sex of a pronoun's antecedent is not being specified. As such, playing the pronoun game involves
*re-phrasing sentences such that they avoid the need for third-person singular sex-specific pronouns (e.g. "We decided to eat out," rather than "She decided that we would eat out."), often using circumlocution;
*using gender-neutral language such as "" rather than "", phrases such as "my partner", "the better half" or "my significant other", or the person's name where it isn't sex or gender-specific; and
*using gender-neutral pronouns that have long-since entered common usage, such as singular they, without employing unusual, and thus attention-calling, gender-neutral pronouns such as xe or sie and hir.

Often, people playing the pronoun game regard it as stressful. The blatant concealment of pronoun-gender makes the sexual orientation of the player just as obvious as it would have been had the game never been played.

Artists may play the pronoun game by addressing their works in the second person rather than using gender pronouns for the objects of affection in songs or written works. For example, Pet Shop Boys' cover version of the song "Always on My Mind" released in 1987 changed Elvis Presley's version from "Girl, I'm sorry I was blind" to "I'm so sorry I was blind". Neil Tennant of Pet Shop Boys himself disclosed his homosexuality in 1993.

ee also

*situational sexual behaviour
*Chasing Amy
*The closet

References

*cite news|last=Wofford|first=Brittany|url=http://www.indyweek.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A17816|title=Fun with pronouns publisher=Independent Weekly|date=2002-06-19
*cite web|accessmonthday=June 12 |accessyear=2005|url=http://www.livejournal.com/users/maeveenroute/27239.html|title=The pronoun game (and other related phenomena)|work=
*cite web|accessmonthday=June 12 |accessyear=2005|url=http://www.softassteel.com/files/bio/work/ling.html|title=A look at language and gender in Latin and English|work=Language and Culture, ANTH 3063
*cite web|accessmonthday=June 12 |accessyear=2005|url=http://www.michfest.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000287.html|title=Straight Friends at Fest|work=Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Discussion Forum which discusses how heterosexual people also play the pronoun game to hide their sexual orientation in predominantly homosexual environments
*cite web|accessmonthday=June 12 |accessyear=2005|url=http://www.countplusplus.ca/archive/blog/200502/|title=The pronoun game|work=
*cite news|url=http://www.citybeat.com/2001-05-10/cover4.shtml|title=Who's That Lady?|publisher=CityBeat|date=2001-05-16
*cite web|accessmonthday=June 14 |accessyear=2005|url=http://people.csail.mit.edu/kathleen/tuesday4may.html|title=Anthropological diary|work= which discusses the avoidance of lying
*For an example of a pronoun game used in the writing of a novel, read "Le Bonheur dans le crime" by Jacqueline Harpman (Stock, 1993 and 1996 and Labor, 1999)

External links

* [http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=806350 "The pronoun game" at Everything2]