The Art of Loving

"The Art of Loving" is a book written by Erich Fromm and published in 1956 by Harper & Row.

Fromm's most popular book, it was an international bestseller and recapitulated and complemented the theoretical principles of human nature found in "Escape from Freedom" and "Man for Himself", principles which were revisited in many of Fromm's other major works. In this work love is presented as a skill that can be taught and developed. It opposes the idea of loving as something magic and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained.

Because modern man is alienated from himself, from his fellow men, and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in the concepts of love and marriage (pp. 79-81). However, psychologist and social philosopher, Erich Fromm (1900-1980), observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii). The active character of true love, Fromm observes, involves the basic elements of care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (p. 24).

Readers will be disappointed if they approach this book as a how-to book. Rather, Fromm's 1956 classic is more of an exploration into the theories of brotherly love, motherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God (pp. 7-76), and an insightful examination into love's disintegration in contemporary Western culture (pp. 77-98). We are starved for love, yet all our attempts to attain love in Western society are bound to fail. However, like art, Fromm observes that real love is possible with discipline, concentration, patience, and a supreme concern for mastering love (pp. 99-123).