The Philosophers' Football Match

The Philosophers' Football Match is a Monty Python sketch depicting a football match in the Olympiastadion at the 1972 Munich Olympics between philosophers representing Greece and Germany. Staring in the sketch is Archimedes (John Cleese), Socrates (Eric Idle), Hegel (Graham Chapman), Nietzsche (Michael Palin), Marx (Terry Jones) and Kant (Terry Gilliam).

Instead of playing, the philosophers competed by thinking while walking on the pitch in circles. This left Franz Beckenbauer, the sole genuine footballer on the pitch (and a "surprise inclusion" in the German team, according to the commentary), more than a little confused. The philosophers included Plato, Socrates and Aristotle on the Greek team, and Heidegger, Marx and Nietzsche on the German team.Gener, Randy. (May 1, 2006) American Theatre "The French Misconnection, or What Makes a Writer French." Volume 23; Issue 5; Page 42.] Confucius was the referee and Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine (sporting haloes) were the linesmen. The German manager was Martin Luther.

The sketch originally featured in the second "Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus" episode and later included in "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982)." [Larsen, Darl. (2003) " [http://books.google.com/books?id=qVa1Hfh11V0C&pg=PA45&dq=Philosophers%27+Football+Match&sig=RIO17LWoVMlQtuMIUCdY6Lbe3yc Monty Python, Shakespeare and English Renaissance Drama.] " Page 45, Publisher: McFarland & Company. ISBN 0786415045]

Outcome

Nietzsche receives a yellow card after claiming that "Confucius has no free will"; Confucius say "Name go in book". Socrates scored the only goal of the match in the 89th minute, a diving header from a cross from Archimedes (who gets the idea of using the football first after shouting out "Eureka!"). The Germans dispute the call; "Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx [with apt materialism] is claiming it was offside."

Line-ups

The names of the Greek philosophers in the line-up are displayed in German in the sketch.

(Ludwig Wittgenstein was, of course, Austrian.)

Trivia

- The narrator mentions that Germany had beaten "England's famous midfield trio, Bentham, Locke and Hobbes" in the semi final.

- The presence of Beckenbauer is described as being a "bit of a surprise"; Beckenbauer is not a philosopher but an actual football player.

- When the line-ups are displayed at the beginning, Nietzsche is listed as number 10. The commentator announces him as the one being booked, but number 5, Schelling, is the one being put in the book.

- Karl Marx points out that the Greek goalscorer was offside, but that can't be inferred from the video (some German players appear on screen and the goalscorer, Socrates, comes from off screen).

- At the start of the match the narrator mentions that the German team had attracted a large amount of press coverage due to "team problems"

References

External links

* [http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~ebarnes/python/international-philosophy.htm Script to the sketch] , Mount Holyoke College