Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)

"Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)" was an innuendo-laden comic song written and performed by Benny Hill.

According to some reports Hill originally recorded the song for his BBC show in 1956, but if this is correct it would seem that the original performance is lost. The song was not to become famous until the 1970s.

Hill performed the song on "The Benny Hill Show" in 1970. The original clip is seldom repeated as it was made in black and white owing to a technicians' strike, but the episode has been released on DVD on both sides of the Atlantic.

The following year it was included with minor lyrical revisions on Hill's album "Words and Music". When it was released as a single on EMI's Columbia label, it became a surprise Number 1 chart hit, topping the UK singles chart for four weeks at Christmas 1971, keeping the T. Rex single "Jeepster" at the number two spot. A promotional film was shot starring Hill as Ernie and Henry McGee as Ted.

Hill re-recorded the song shortly before his death in 1992 for the album "Benny Hill...The Best Of". The re-recording has more lightweight instrumentation and critics felt that it was redundant. There is one trivial alteration to the lyrics: "a shilling" is changed to "10p".

On "Desert Island Discs" in May 2006, Conservative Party leader David Cameron picked it as one of his eight favourite records, claiming: "When you are asked to sing a song, this is, I'm afraid, the only song whose words I can remember".

Inspired by his time working for Hann's Dairies in Eastleigh, Hampshire the song concerned the fictional exploits of Ernie Price, a 52 year old (68 in the original TV version) milkman who drove a horse-drawn milk cart, his war with the bread delivery man ("Two-Ton Ted from Teddington") and their efforts to win the heart of Sue, a widow who lives on her own at number 22, Liddley Lane.

In the end the two men fight with what they carry on their carts and Ernie is killed by a rock cake underneath his heart followed by a stale pork pie in his eye (a stale meat pie in the original TV version).

After his death Sue and Ted marry, but Ernie's ghost returns to haunt them.

Ernie was referenced in an episode of 'Basils swap shop' in the Superheros segment. It involved an Ernie lookalike turning up to the superheros flat only to be told that speedy delivery of milk was not a super power.

External links

* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/5015894.stm BBC News Magazine: Ernie's Journey]
* [http://www.marc-bolan.com/public/biography2.htm Marc Bolan Official Fan Site]