List of Malcolm in the Middle episodes


List of Malcolm in the Middle episodes

Malcolm in the Middle ran for seven seasons from 2000 to 2006 with 151 episodes produced.

Contents

Series overview

Season Episodes Originally aired DVD release date
Region 1 Region 2
1 16 2000 October 29, 2002 October 29, 2002
2 25 20002001 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA
3 22 20012002 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA
4 22 20022003 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA
5 22 20032004 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA
6 22 20042005 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA
7 22 20052006 TBR/TBA TBR/TBA

Season 1: 2000

Series
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Season
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Title Directed by Written by Original air date Production
code
1 1 "Pilot" Todd Holland Linwood Boomer January 9, 2000 10012-99-179

Malcolm (Frankie Muniz), a boy with a dysfunctional family, is given an I.Q. test by his teacher and is revealed to have an I.Q. of 165. He is transferred to the school's gifted class against his wishes, and must cope with his desire to be normal despite having been recognized as a genius.

The episode won multiple awards, including two Emmys for Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Directing - Comedy Series and Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing - Comedy Series to Holland and Boomer respectively, in 2000.[1] Leading on from this, Holland won a Directors Guild of America Award for Outstanding Directing - Comedy Series for this episode in 2001 and the episode also won an American Cinema Editors Award for Best Edited Half-Hour Series for Television in 2000.[2] 
2 2 "Red Dress" Arlene Sanford Alan J. Higgins January 16, 2000 06-99-103
Lois (Jane Kaczmarek) is supposed to meet Hal (Bryan Cranston) at a restaurant for their anniversary date, but Lois forgets to go after she finds her red dress in the toilet with fire damage. She spends the night punishing Reese (Justin Berfield), Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan), and Malcolm, trying to figure out which of them burned the dress. Meanwhile, Hal makes friends with a member of the restaurant staff while waiting for Lois. 
3 3 "Home Alone 4" Todd Holland Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein January 23, 2000 06-99-106
While Hal and Lois are away for the weekend, Francis (Christopher Kennedy Masterson) comes home from military school to babysit Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey. Malcolm believes Francis will be allowed to return home permanently if he does a good job, so he convinces the other boys to be on their best behavior. This all turns out to be for naught when Francis' friends come over and trash the house. 
4 4 "Shame" Nick Marck David Richardson February 6, 2000 06-99-107
Malcolm beats up a bully who won't leave him alone, only to learn that the bully is just seven years old (despite being the size of a much older kid). Malcolm feels guilty and tries to clear his conscience by signing up for a charity run. Hal angers the neighbors by cutting down a tree in front of their house. Francis decides to steal the slides for the military academy's sex education slideshow, but changes his mind and replaces the slides with other slides instead. 
5 5 "Malcolm Babysits" Jeff Melman Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum February 13, 2000 06-99-105
Malcolm's family moves into a trailer while their house is being fumigated, but Malcolm ends up spending more time at the home of an upper-middle class family who has hired him as their babysitter. Francis finds the corpse of a former janitor in the basement of the military school and teams up with his friends to give the forgotten custodian a proper burial. 
6 6 "Sleepover" Ken Kwapis Dan Kopelman February 20, 2000 06-99-110
Malcolm stays overnight at Stevie's house and decides that Stevie's parents are too strict. He convinces Stevie to sneak out of the house with him and they go to an arcade downtown, where Stevie's wheelchair is stolen. Reese agrees to give Dewey a bath in exchange for being allowed to stay up late to watch a scary movie, but the task proves more difficult than he expected. Francis is hazed by a group of students at military school. 
7 7 "Francis Escapes" Todd Holland Linwood Boomer February 27, 2000 06-99-101
Francis goes AWOL from military school to spend more time with his girlfriend, who breaks up with him as soon as he gets home. Lois finds out Francis has left school, but does not know where he went. Malcolm discovers Francis hiding in the woods near their house and brings him food, though keeping the secret gets complicated. 
8 8 "Krelboyne Picnic" Todd Holland Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein March 12, 2000 06-99-109
Malcolm's classmates demonstrate their abilities at a picnic. Malcolm, not wanting people to see him as a freak, tries to get out of performing by ditching the picnic with Francis, but the plan falls apart when Francis meets a girl. Hal violates the picnic's vegetarian policy by bringing a meat-filled cooler. 
9 9 "Lois vs. Evil" Todd Holland Jack Amiel & Michael Begler March 19, 2000 06-99-104
Dewey steals a $150 bottle of cognac from the store where Lois works. She makes him return it, but she's fired, which leaves the family struggling. Francis, chosen to be part of the color guard at a beauty pageant, gains special backstage access when some of the contestants think he's gay. 
10 10 "Stock Car Races" Todd Holland David Richardson April 2, 2000 06-99-102
Hal takes the boys to a stock-car race on a school day. Lois' hunt for her paycheck unearths incriminating items that Hal and the boys stashed around the house. Francis sneaks a snake into the academy, but forgets to lock it up. 
11 11 "Funeral" Arlene Sanford Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum April 9, 2000 06-99-111
The family reluctantly prepares for Aunt Helen's funeral, but Lois finally gets fed-up by the collective attitude and announces she's going to take a bubble bath and everyone else can do his own thing. This frees Malcolm to attend a concert with Julie, but she catches him in his underwear and runs away. Malcolm tells his parents that Reese broke Dewey's birthday present and the reason he seemed so enthusiastic to go to the funeral was that he had planned to stash the remains in the coffin. Lois promptly decides that they will attend the funeral after all so Reese can apologize to Aunt Helen. 
12 12 "Cheerleader" Todd Holland Dan Kopelman April 16, 2000 06-99-112
Reese joins the cheerleading squad because he has a crush on one of the cheerleaders. Malcolm is embarrassed to have a brother who is a cheerleader, but ends up helping Reese learn his routines anyway. 
13 13 "Rollerskates" Ken Kwapis Alan J. Higgins April 30, 2000 06-99-108
Hal gives Malcolm rollerskating lessons, but Malcolm becomes frustrated and swears at his dad. Hal responds by typing up several pages of obscene names and forcing Malcolm to look him in the eye and say them to him. Meanwhile, Lois throws out her back by screaming too loud at Reese for tracking mud in the house, and Francis fakes the same back injury to get out of a wilderness survival exercise at the academy. 
14 14 "The Bots and the Bees" Chris Koch Alan J. Higgins & David Richardson May 7, 2000 06-00-202
Lois visits Francis at military school after he has a medical emergency. Hal, no longer under Lois' supervision, takes up smoking and stops going to work. Malcolm and his classmates enter a killer robot competition, but Hal takes over their robot-building project and builds a dangerous robot complete with a bee cannon. 
15 15 "Smunday" Jeff Melman Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein May 14, 2000 06-00-201
Lois, down with a severe case of the flu, doesn't realize she has spent two days in bed; thinking Monday is Sunday, she doesn't make the boys go to school--or lift their latest grounding, so the boys are unable to do anything exciting. Francis calls home and recruits his brothers to keep Lois from finding an incriminating letter, then sends his lowlife pals over to guard them. Meanwhile, Hal visits a Porsche dealership and ends up ruining a car. 
16 16 "Water Park" Ken Kwapis Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum May 21, 2000 06-00-203
The family goes to a water park where Malcolm and Reese get into an escalating prank war until Lois loses her temper and yells at them at the top of a waterslide. Meanwhile, Dewey is stuck at home with an ear infection and an elderly babysitter (Bea Arthur)--until she's carted away in an ambulance and he becomes so entranced with a balloon being blown around in the wind that he gets lost. 

Season 2: 2000–2001

Series
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Season
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Title Directed by Written by Original air date Production
code
17 1 "Traffic Jam" Todd Holland Dan Kopelman November 5, 2000 06-00-204
After being banned from the water park, the family gets stuck in a traffic jam caused by a car wreck. Hal has an existential crisis when he realizes how easily it could've been their car that was hit by the truck. Lois can't accept the fact that there's nothing she can do to speed up the process so they can get back on the road. Malcolm spends the time with a girl and is crushed when he finds out she lives in Canada. At the military academy, Francis bets fellow cadets that he can eat 100 candy Quacks. Dewey tries to find his way home. 
18 2 "Halloween Approximately" Todd Holland Dan Kopelman November 8, 2000 06-00-207
When Francis comes home for a post-Halloween visit, he helps his brothers get back into the spirit by building a giant slingshot to terrorize the neighborhood. Hal and Lois track down a joyrider who won't stop speeding down their street, and end up stealing his car. 
19 3 "Lois' Birthday" Ken Kwapis Alex Reid November 12, 2000 06-00-205
Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey are given money to buy birthday presents for Lois, but they spend most of it on candy. Lois runs away from home and goes to a batting cage. Hal and the boys throw together a makeshift party for her at the batting cages, where they end up getting into a fight with a bunch of clowns. Francis, who had come home for Lois' birthday, convinces an African woman to ditch her bus tour and see America with him instead. 
20 4 "Dinner Out" Jeff Melman Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein November 15, 2000 06-00-206
The family has a dinner date with the Kenarbans, who start to pick up the bad habits of Malcolm and his family: Abe gets drunk with Hal, Stevie punches Reese, and Kitty makes a scene by yelling at Stevie in front of everyone. Francis invites a group of local girls to a party at Marlin Academy, which they promptly destroy. 
21 5 "Casino" Todd Holland Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson November 19, 2000 06-00-209
Malcolm and his family vacation at a casino on an Indian reservation. Hal is banned from the gambling area after using Malcolm to count cards for him at a blackjack table. Unable to gamble, Hal looks for another form of recreation and takes Malcom and Reese on a hike through the desert, where they accidentally wander onto an artillery range owned by the Army. Lois wins a day at the spa and shares it with Dewey since Hal is gone. Francis ditches school thinking he would have the house to himself while his family was gone, only to run into Craig, who has sneaked into the house uninvited. 
22 6 "Convention" Jeff Melman Bob Stevens November 22, 2000 06-00-208
Hal and Lois go out of town to a convention, where Hal keeps picking fights with a coworker he can't stand. Back at home, the boys compete for the attention of a sexy babysitter (Melody Perkins), who finds Dewey adorable and barely notices the other two. 
23 7 "Robbery" Todd Holland Alan J. Higgins November 26, 2000 06-00-215
Lois and Craig get caught up in a robbery at the Lucky Aide, where Craig finally admits his feelings for Lois. Hal brings home an old armoire to give Lois as an anniversary gift, but it turns out to be full of bats. They manage to get rid of all the bats, but not without trashing the house in the process. Francis tries to cheer up a recently dumped fellow cadet by taking him to a strip club. 
24 8 "Therapy" Ken Kwapis Ian Busch November 29, 2000 06-00-210
Malcolm fakes an emotional breakdown in order to get out of the Krelboyne class' Medieval Week. Hal and Lois clean out a packed closet and find that it is actually a second bathroom. Dewey reveals a hidden talent for table skittles, but his talent seems to disappear as soon as Hal tries to show it off. 
25 9 "High School Play" Jeff Melman Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum December 10, 2000 06-00-211
Malcolm gets a role in a high school play and starts blowing off his friends to spend more time with his new high school friends. Caroline Miller (Catherine Lloyd Burns), the Krelboyne teacher, gives birth in the school parking lot when the Krelboynes' model rocket launch goes awry. Hal and Dewey create a LEGO city. 
26 10 "Bully" Jeff Melman Alex Reid December 17, 2000 06-00-214
After being beaten by a girl in a wrestling match, Reese relinquishes his role as the school bully, which allows people to start picking on Malcolm. Francis tries to come home from military school for his birthday to avoid a birthday hazing ritual. 
27 11 "Old Mrs. Old" Todd Holland Alan J. Higgins January 7, 2001 06-00-213
Malcolm must help an old woman (Florence Stanley) in the neighborhood with whatever she wants of him because he broke her arm. He ends up taking her car on a joy ride after she passes out from mixing alcohol with her medication. Francis' friend Richie is sent to the military academy. Meanwhile, Reese tries to convince Dewey to use a regular backpack instead of a purse. 
28 12 "Krelboyne Girl" Arlene Sanford Bob Stevens January 14, 2001 06-00-212
Malcolm's class has a new student named Cynthia (Tania Raymonde), and it quickly becomes clear that she has a crush on him. Malcolm doesn't know how to react and ends up throwing a brick through her window in the middle of the night. 
29 13 "New Neighbors" Ken Kwapis Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum January 21, 2001 06-00-219
New neighbors move in next to Malcolm's family, and the two families soon hate each other (except the father, who quickly becomes best friends with Hal). One of the neighbors starts rumors that Malcolm is a Peeping Tom, leading Malcolm to seek revenge by framing him for theft. Malcolm and Reese accidentally catch the neighbor family's mother cheating on her husband, forcing them to move. Meanwhile, Commandant Spangler gets drunk on the day that Oliver North visits Marlin Academy. 
30 14 "Hal Quits" Ken Kwapis Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein February 4, 2001 06-00-216
Hal quits his job after a disastrous career day at Dewey's school, and spends his free time painting. He drives himself crazy adding more and more layers to the painting until it peels off and falls on him. Francis reluctantly works at the Lucky Aide over spring break when they need extra people to take inventory. Malcolm questions his future profession after an aptitude test reveals that he could do any job on the planet. 
31 15 "The Grandparents" Todd Holland Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson February 11, 2001 06-00-217
Lois' parents Victor (Robert Loggia) and Ida (Cloris Leachman) come for a visit and don't seem to approve of anyone in the family except Reese. Hal buys a new refrigerator thinking Victor is going to reimburse him for it, but Victor changes his mind. The new fridge is blown up when Malcolm throws a grenade in it to keep it from damaging anything else in the house. Meanwhile, Francis is sick from a bad sushi while he and the cadets are in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. 
32 16 "Traffic Ticket" Jeff Melman Larry Strawther February 18, 2001 06-00-218
Lois is cited for reckless driving, and is taken to jail due to several outstanding parking tickets earned by Francis. She orders Francis to pay off the fines he has accumulated in her name, which leads Francis to try a dangerous stunt for money. Lois disputes the reckless driving citation, believing the cop has a personal vendetta against her, but when security camera footage shows evidence to the contrary, Lois has an emotional meltdown over being wrong for the first time in her life. Craig finds a security camera from a different angle showing that Lois wasn't at fault after all. However, Hal destroys the tape so she will continue to believe she was wrong and forces Craig to remain silent or else. 
33 17 "Surgery" Jeff Melman Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum February 25, 2001 06-00-222
Malcolm is taken to the hospital with side pains and is diagnosed with appendicitis. He is scheduled for surgery until he manages to prove the diagnosis wrong. The rest of the family obsesses over a board game called March and Conquer (a fictional version of Risk). Francis and the cadets go on a hunger strike after Commandant Spangler takes away their television. 
34 18 "Reese Cooks" Jeff Melman Dan Kopelamn March 4, 2001 06-00-220
Reese discovers his talent for cooking when he is forced to take a culinary class as punishment for a prank. In the class' cooking contest, Reese is found to have cheated even though he was the favorite to win. Hal punishes him by forbidding him to cook for a month, which makes Reese cry. At Marlin academy, Francis keeps blowing off his share of a major school project that his friend Eric is also half-responsible for. 
35 19 "Tutoring Reese" Ken Kwapis Ian Busch March 11, 2001 06-00-221
Malcolm tutors Reese to improve his lousy grades, but soon discovers that Reese's teacher is out to get him, which Reese has been claiming all along. Malcolm busts the teacher, but is caught helping Reese cheat in the process. Francis leaves the family and lives in the basement of his friend Richie's house. 
36 20 "Bowling" Todd Holland Alex Reid April 1, 2001 06-00-223
In this Sliding Doors-style story, the viewer simultaneously sees what happens when the boys go bowling with Hal and what happens when they go bowling with Lois. Two subplots are also used: one where Dewey stays home with Lois and one where he stays home with Hal. In both scenarios, he is being punished for killing the neighbor's parakeet. This episode won two Emmy Awards
37 21 "Malcolm vs Reese" Todd Holland Teleplay by: Dan Kopelman
Story by: Dan Danko & Tom Mason
April 22, 2001 06-00-226
Francis bribes Malcolm and Reese with just one extra ticket to a wrestling match, forcing them to humiliate themselves and do all his chores, trying to outdo each other for the one ticket. The boys turn on each other when they realize that the other one can't go to the wrestling match if they are grounded. Dewey is hired to watch Craig's cat for the weekend, but he loses the cat and his parents make things worse. Craig moves in with the family after they burn his house down. 
38 22 "Mini-Bike" Ken Kwapis Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein April 29, 2001 06-00-227
Craig drives the family insane while living with them. The boys buy a used mini-bike and fix it up, only to have Lois confiscate it. Reese takes the bike out anyway and crashes it, breaking his leg. Hal visits Francis at Marlin Academy's father/son day and is disappointed when he learns that Francis apparently has not changed, but is later proud when Francis is the only cadet who stands up to Commandant Spangler. 
39 23 "Carnival" Ken Kwapis Alex Reid May 6, 2001 06-00-225
Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey tell their parents they will be spending the night at Stevie's house, while Stevie tells his parents he will be staying at their house. They all sneak off to the county fair together, but they arrive as the fair is closing and end up being locked in and chased by a security guard. Hal and Lois were going to spend the entire evening having sex until Stevie's parents showed up and they all discovered that their sons had lied. 
40 24 "Evacuation" Todd Holland Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson May 13, 2001 06-00-228
Hal and Dewey accidentally drop a couch on the railroad tracks while driving it to the dump, and the town ends up being evacuated after a train containing toxic waste derails. Malcolm is grounded even while they are staying overnight in the school gym. Reese starts running a black market when he realizes that everyone there is in need of basic supplies. Francis and Eric go on double dates, but Francis' date turns out to be twelve. 
41 25 "Flashback" Jeff Melman Ian Busch May 20, 2001 06-00-224
While Hal worries over the possibility of Lois being pregnant again, the two look back at the memories of their children's births, from Francis being born while Hal and Lois get married to Dewey's birth after Hal gets a new job. 

Season 3: 2001–2002

Series
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Season
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Title Directed by Written by Original air date Production
code
42 1 "Houseboat" Todd Holland Bob Stevens November 11, 2001 06-01-301
Malcolm's family and the Kenarbans vacation together on a houseboat, while Reese and Stevie hang out with girls who like to take off their bras. Malcolm soon becomes annoyed with spending time with Hal and leaves him on a buoy. Meanwhile, Francis' friend, Eric drops out of the military academy to take on a logging job in Alaska and Francis gets himself emancipated so he can join him, incurring Lois' wrath. 
43 2 "Emancipation" Jimmy Simons Alan J. Higgins November 14, 2001 06-01-302
Francis comes home a final time before heading out to join Eric in Alaska, but Lois wants nothing to do with him since he quit school. Meanwhile, Malcolm's new teacher (Chris Eigeman), a former Krelboyne, sets the students against each other with a new ranking system. 
44 3 "Book Club" Todd Holland Alex Reid November 18, 2001 06-01-304
Lois attempts to escape the boys' nightly misbehavior by joining a women's book club, but she soon realizes that it's merely an excuse for the women to socialize—and to plot against a PTA mom who seems to handle her children and all other motherly duties with ease. Meanwhile, Hal struggles to keep the boys in order, and Francis hitches a ride with a trucker who makes him humiliate himself in order to keep from being kicked out. 
45 4 "Malcolm's Girlfriend" Ken Kwapis Ian Busch November 28, 2001 06-01-305
After getting a girlfriend (whose face is never shown on camera), Malcolm neglects his family and friends; the family react when they find about about her. Meanwhile, Dewey uses his new friend's wealth to get the birthday party he's always wanted. Still en-route to Alaska, Francis is jailed but quickly starts to enjoy his time as he watches the guards' complicated lived unfold. 
46 5 "Charity" Jeff Melman Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson December 2, 2001 06-01-303
When Lois forces the boys into community service to build character, they choose to help out at a church, where they quickly go from trading their own stuff to stealing merchandise and creating a black market. Meanwhile, Francis finally reaches his destination in Alaska only to learn that his new job isn't the easy money-making opportunity he thought. 
47 6 "Health Scare" Todd Holland Dan Kopelman December 9, 2001 06-01-307
When news hits that Hal may have a serious illness, Lois becomes meaner than usual. Meanwhile, Francis has a showdown with combative Lavernia in Alaska, and Dewey becomes overzealous in taking care of his class's pet hamster. 
48 7 "Christmas" Jeff Melman Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum December 16, 2001 06-01-306
After the boys accidentally destroy the Christmas-tree ornaments, Lois issues an ultimatum: either the boys behave or Christmas is cancelled! It works and Lois is proud that they rose to the challenge, but the boys realize that she could keep using this threat for every major event--how can they stop her? Meanwhile, Francis spends a torturous Christmas with Grandma Ida in Whitehorse and eventually finds a closetful of gifts she bought for, then withheld from, the family over the years. 
49 8 "Poker" Ken Kwapis Michael Borkow January 6, 2002 06-01-308
Hal gets competitive with Abe in poker; Lois gets carried away with her dance lessons; Francis is trapped in an Alaskan blizzard. 
50 9 "Reese's Job" Todd Holland Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson January 20, 2002 06-01-310
Reese works at a fast-food place but gets intro trouble for stealing from the cash register. Dewey tries to prove himself trustworthy with pets and his parents try to sabotage his efforts. Malcolm finds himself eclipsed by the newest, youngest Krelboyne--Herkabe's latest attempt to get rid of Malcolm--until the boy helps Malcolm clear Reese's name by revealing the real culprit. Francis helps throw a bachelor party for one of his lodge friends, who will be marrying a Russian mail-order bride
51 10 "Lois' Makeover" Jeff Melman Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein January 27, 2002 06-01-311
Mortified when she learns that she performs poorly in Lucky Aide secret-shoppers' performance reviews, Lois tries to dress up her appearance. Hal is re-energized after beating the boys at basketball, until they discover his plans. A rat infestation gives Francis a new job. 
52 11 "Company Picnic (Part 1)" Todd Holland Teleplay by: Alan J. Higgins
Story by: Janae Bakken
February 3, 2002 06-01-313
The family attends Hal's company picnic,where Hal tries to avoid his new boss because of his bleak history of first impressions and Malcolm sees an old crush. Francis finds himself caught up in an ice hockey match between the loggers and a female oil-rig crew and bets against the loggers, knowing that if he wins the money he can pay off his debts to Lavernia and leave his Alaskan hellhole. Guest appearances include: Terry Bradshaw, Tom Green, Howie Long, Stephen Root, Christina Ricci, Susan Sarandon, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Klum, Lauren Storm
53 12 "Company Picnic (Part 2)" Todd Holland Teleplay by: Alan J. Higgins
Story by: Janae Bakken
February 3, 2002 06-01-314

Conclusion: Reese and his scavenger-hunt partner wreak havoc, Hal confronts his boss, and Malcolm gets into an awkward position; Francis tries to sabotage the loggers' hockey team so he can win his bet but then has an attack of conscience during the match.

Guest appearances include (along with guests from "Company Picnic (Part 1)"): Magic Johnson and Bradley Whitford
54 13 "Reese Drives" Jeff Melman Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein February 10, 2002 06-01-309
Reese gets a learner's permit and promptly commandeers a driving-school vehicle. 
55 14 "Cynthia's Back" Ken Kwapis Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum February 17, 2002 06-01-312
A moody Cynthia returns from Europe with a more developed figure. When Reese finds out, he tries to date her but Malcolm outsmarts him; later, Cynthia beats up Reese for touching her. Meanwhile, Karen tells Lois that she kissed Hal on New Year's Eve, but he denies it. Dewey teaches Hal how to fly a kite. In Alaska, after his drunken roommates stole a totem pole, Francis looks towards it for answers in his life. 
56 15 "Hal's Birthday" Levie Isaacks Alex Reid March 3, 2002 06-01-316
Lois arranges for Francis to come home on Hal's birthday as a surprise, but the real surprise is on everyone else when Francis arrives--with a bride, Piama(Emy Coligado). Malcolm, Dewey, and Reese are immediately sent to bed while the arguments rage on; upset that their parents don't care about their opinions, they sneak off to a hotel with Hal and Lois' credit card. 
57 16 "Hal Coaches" Jeff Melman Ian Busch March 10, 2002 06-01-319
Hal decides to coach Dewey's soccer team and turns them into monsters. Meanwhile, when Malcolm and Reese get a computer from their neighbor Ed, they discover his big secret and Reese blackmails him into doing things for him. Malcolm gets addicted to The Virts. In Alaska, Piama kidnaps Lavernia's precious parakeet and demands better treatment for Francis or else. 
58 17 "Dewey's Dog" Bob Stevens Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein April 7, 2002 06-01-318
Dewey finds a dog and uses him to gain the upper hand over Malcolm and Reese, such as making them wear dresses and makeup. On their anniversary, Hal and Lois both are sick with stressing out and sleepwalking, but neither will admit it. In Alaska, Francis comes face-to-face with his former, albeit drunk commandant, Edwin Spangler, who blames him for not only losing his job at Marlin Academy, but also his desertion. 
59 18 "Poker 2" Jeff Melman Teleplay by: Bill Hooper
Story by: John Bradford Goodman
April 21, 2002 06-01-322
Hal,Abe, and their friends play extremely well in poker but start to compete over minor issues. Meanwhile, Reese sets Malcolm and Stevie up with 2 popular girls (Dana Davis and Lindsey Haun), telling them that Stevie is terminally ill; Malcolm discovers that one of the girls has an automatic handgun and tries to hide it from her, with unintentional results. Meanwhile, Eric suspects that Piama is having an affair and it prompts Francis to return home, where Piama's estranged father has returned. 
60 19 "Clip Show" Jamie Babbit Michael Borkow & Alex Reid April 28, 2002 06-01-321
Believing the boys ruined the car, Hal forces them to see a psychiatrist (Andy Richter) to cure their bad behavior. Soon the three open up and tell him all about their family. 
61 20 "Jury Duty" Ken Kwapis Teleplay by: Pang-Ni Landrum
Story by: Pang-Ni Landrum,
Dan Danko & Tom Mason
May 1, 2002 06-01-320
While Malcolm and Reese spend a day exploring a sewer with Dewey and Stevie, they can't stop bragging that they saw Kitty naked over the weekend. Lois serves jury duty, and as she's not allowed to discuss it, Hal and Abe think her case is a high-profile murder case and spend the day proving their own theories about it. But Lois finds that her fellow jury members just want to declare the defendant guilty and go home. She forces them to properly analyze the case by not only changing her verdict, but also using Francis as an example. Meanwhile, Francis himself is trapped with the other guys in an ice-fishing shed with a bear outside. 
62 21 "Cliques" Jeff Melman Michael Borkow May 5, 2002 06-01-317
Forced to join the general school populations, the Krelboynes all find new groups. Meanwhile, Piama is using the money she and Francis have been making from the casino business to go shopping instead of saving it up to pay off Lavernia. When Dewey is stricken with chickenpox, Lois tries to keep him busy with dominoes--but then she has to try to keep Hal and Reese from knocking them down. 
63 22 "Monkey" Ken Kwapis Dan Kopelman May 12, 2002 06-01-315
After knocking out a burglar, Reese turns to law enforcement. Elsewhere, Craig is laid up by injuries, thanks to being chased into traffic by Dewey's dog. He spends his insurance money on Oliver, a capuchin monkey "butler"--who is actually deranged and gives Craig a hard time. Francis is fired when there are no more trees to cut down, forcing him and Piama to leave Alaska. (Note: this is the final appearance of Eric Nenninger as Eric, skunked when he tries to hitchhike with Francis and abandoned to find his own way back home. It is also the last appearance of Bernard, the class hamster Dewey liberated, as he ironically reaches Alaska.) 

Season 4: 2002–2003

Series
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Season
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Title Directed by Written by Original air date Production
code
64 1 "Zoo" Todd Holland Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein November 3, 2002 06-02-401
Malcolm is depressed, and the family goes to the zoo. Reese battles a goat, while Malcolm and Dewey end up in a tiger pit. Francis meets Otto and Gretchen and takes a job at their dude ranch. Lois' ex-boyfriend (Tim DeKay) puts a tarantula on Hal and reveals to him how many boyfriends Lois actually had. 
65 2 "Humilithon" Jeff Melman Michael Borkow November 10, 2002 06-02-402
Malcolm's first day of high school gets off to a bad start when Lois embarrasses him in front of the entire school; Hal clashes with Mr. Herkabe. 
66 3 "Family Reunion" Ken Kwapis Alex Reid November 17, 2002 06-02-403
The family goes to Hal's family reunion, where his family makes Lois miserable until Malcolm and his brothers join forces to teach their relatives a lesson. Christopher Lloyd guest-stars as Hal's father. 
67 4 "Stupid Girl" Todd Holland Dan Kopelman November 24, 2002 06-02-404
Malcolm pretends to be stupid so he can win over a cute girl (Brittany Finamore) who really is stupid. Stevie wins Lois' approval and she takes him to the school dance. Meanwhile, Hal rents a steamroller and becomes addicted to running over various objects. 
68 5 "Forwards Backwards" Levie Isaacks Maggie Bandur December 1, 2002 06-02-406
Days before Malcolm's birthday, he and Reese pull increasingly severe pranks against each other. Flashbacks throughout the episode gradually reveal how their feud began and reached this point (Malcolm ate a blueberry Reese was saving). Meanwhile, Francis encounters a "devil cow" at the ranch and discovers it's just an ordinary cow long overdue for milking. Dewey worries about his role as Abraham Lincoln in the school play. Hal enlists Craig to help him find Malcolm a birthday present. 
69 6 "Forbidden Girlfriend" Jamie Babbit Matthew Carlson December 15, 2002 06-02-405
Malcolm dates Nikki (Reagan Dale Neis), whose Vietnam-vet dad hates him. Dewey discovers he's an 'evil twin' and Francis mediates a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbors. 
70 7 "Malcolm Holds His Tongue" Jeff Melman Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson January 5, 2003 06-02-410
Malcolm decides to keep his opinions to himself; at first it goes well but gradually he develops a stomach ulcer. Meanwhile, Reese must enlist Craig to drive him and his girlfriend to a concert. Hal tries race-walking, but ends up with a rival. Note: Alisa Reyes makes a cameo on a date in the same restaurant as Reese and his girlfriend. 
71 8 "Boys at Ranch" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson January 12, 2003 06-02-412
When Hal and the boys visit the ranch, Francis' maturity shocks his brothers and Otto and Hal get drunk and stranded in the desert. 
72 9 "Grandma Sues" Jimmy Simons Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein February 2, 2003 06-02-407
Grandma Ida is injured by slipping on leaves Reese neglected to rake up, and she sues Lois and Hal--just when they discover that Lois discovers that she is pregnant
73 10 "If Boys Were Girls" Ken Kwapis Teleplay by: Nahnatchka Khan
Story by: Alexandra Kaczenski
February 9, 2003 06-02-408
During a hellish trip to the mall with Hal and the boys, Lois imagines life with daughters instead of sons, only to discover that it would have been just as difficult, only in different ways. Meanwhile, Hal desperately searches for the perfect Valentine's Day present for Lois. 
74 11 "Long Drive" Levie Isaacks Michael Borkow March 2, 2003 06-02-409
Reese ends up in prison for a day. Lois drives Malcolm with her and tells him everything about sex. Dewey causes a feud in Hal's six-man band. Francis accidentally blows up Otto's favorite cow. 
75 12 "Kicked Out" Jeff Melman Alex Reid March 9, 2003 06-02-413
A combination of Malcolm's disgust at the house falling apart around them, and Hal's fear-induced "zero tolerance" attempts at maintaining peace and order in the family, results in Malcolm being kicked out of the house; the longer he has no home, the more his sanity begins to slip away. At the ranch, Francis has deal with Otto's piano-playing nephew. 
76 13 "Stereo Store" Bryan Cranston Matthew Carlson March 16, 2003 06-02-414

Hal gets a second job at "U-Buy It." Meanwhile Jessica (Hayden Panettiere), a freaky girl from Malcolm's school, babysits Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey.

Note: This episode marks Bryan Cranston's Malcolm directorial debut. 
77 14 "Hal's Friend" Jeff Melman Dan Kopelman March 30, 2003 06-02-415
Hal meets a friend (Joel Murray), who hasn't changed in all the time since they've seen each other. Malcolm tries to make Dabney stand up for himself when his mom won't let him use his new birthday paintball gun because it's "violent." 
78 15 "Garage Sale" Levie Isaacks Maggie Bandur April 6, 2003 06-02-416
Home from a visit with her sister Susan who had called her "hopeless," Lois puts Reese in charge of the family garage sale. Meanwhile, Hal finds his oldpirate radio transmitter and restarts the station he ran in college under the pseudonym Kid Charlemagne. Malcolm finds an old computer worth over thousands of dollars and tells Lois about it. After Reese intentionally destroys it, she reprimands him and reminds him that they desperately need the money. At the ranch, Francis uses a sock puppet to help Otto deal with his estrangement from his son Rutger, an experience that helps him say just what Lois needs to hear when he calls home. 
79 16 "Academic Octathalon" Todd Holland Rob Hanning April 13, 2003 06-02-411
Mr. Herkabe forces Malcolm to join the academic octathlon team and encourages them to cheat, so Malcolm chooses to make everyone pay. Hal alienates Dewey by telling him he's too big for their bedtime ritual. Reese tries to avoid going to a dance. 
80 17 "Clip Show 2" Levie Isaacks Maggie Bandur & Dan Kopelman April 20, 2003 06-02-422

In this second clip show, Hal and Lois are penning their will, and think back to all the trouble their sons put them through.

Note: Frankie Muniz only appears in the flashback scenes. 
81 18 "Reese's Party" Levie Isaacks Andy Bobrow April 27, 2003 06-02-418
Reese decides to throw a party while Lois and Hal take a weekend break. All is fine until Donnie's gang of hoodlums turns the party into a crystal meth operation that even Francis can't handle, and Dewey ends up solving the situation. Meanwhile, Hal and Lois are having a miserable time. 
82 19 "Future Malcolm" Ken Kwapis Teleplay by: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein
Story by: Ron Corcillo & A.J. Poulin
May 4, 2003 06-02-417
At the park, Malcolm meets a depressed middle-aged man (Jason Alexander) who may be his future self. Meanwhile, Francis and Piama find employment as nude models. 
83 20 "Baby (Part 1)" Jimmy Simons Rob Hanning May 11, 2003 06-02-419
Lois goes into labor while Hal and the boys are at a bridal exposition. Ida moves in when her apartment burns down mysteriously and Susan refuses to take her in. After learning that Ida is a bigot, Francis and Piama enlist Abe and his poker buddies to scare her off. Meanwhile, Malcolm has been accepted to a boarding school in England, but he decides not to go when Hal makes him realize how much his family needs him. Stunned at the date his parents chose for the baby's planned delivery, Dewey makes a public announcement. 
84 21 "Baby (Part 2)" Jamie Babbit Michael Borkow May 18, 2003 06-02-420
Frantic Hal crashes the car while trying to get home to Lois, who has gone into labor. Meanwhile Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey take a parenting class to be better brothers to their new sibling. Ida moves out when Susan calls to clear up the misunderstanding between them. Francis helps Lois give birth. 
85 22 "Day Care" Steve Love Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson May 18, 2003 06-02-421
A church-run daycare center accepts Lois' wailing newborn...but Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey must attend Bible-study classes and Hal and Lois are expected to take part in the church community. Meanwhile, a rival ranch reports an alien sighting, so Francis organizes a sighting on Otto's ranch...which gets him arrested by the government. 

Season 5: 2003–2004

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86 1 "Vegas" Bryan Cranston Michael Glouberman &
Andrew Orenstein
November 2, 2003 06-03-501
While Francis is trapped with Otto in a well he was supposed to fix, a fire erupts in the barn (also Francis' fault). Meanwhile, the family travels to Las Vegas where Reese and Dewey show an obese rabbit at a competition, Hal has a prophetic dream of winning at a slot machine, and Lois goes backstage with her favorite singer Boone Vincent (David Cassidy). 
87 2 "Watching the Baby" Levie Isaacks Alex Reid November 9, 2003 06-03-502
Attractive, popular girls want to be seen with Reese, Malcolm, and Stevie as revenge on their boyfriends, so the boys stick Dewey with babysitting Jamie. Dewey proceeds to tell Jamie an elaborate story in which their parents are secretly wealthy and have a hidden "secret good house" in their closet. Hal must work for Craig at the Lucky Aide when he can't pay for Jamie's diapers, and he and the other employees revolt to overthrow Craig. 
88 3 "Goodbye Kitty" Jimmy Simons Gary Murphy & Neil Thompson November 16, 2003 06-03-503
Stevie finds out his mother has divorced his father. Lois' high school diary falls into Reese's backpack; Reese reads it and becomes infatuated with the original owner. Dewey regresses into babyhood. Meanwhile, neither Francis nor Otto can bear to put a horse down. 
89 4 "Thanksgiving" David D'Ovidio Matthew Carlson November 23, 2003 06-03-504
Reese displays monomania and culinary genius while making Thanksgiving dinner. Lois intervenes when Francis and Piama seem headed for divorce. Malcolm goes to a party and spends half the time wondering if Kirstin (Alessandra Torresani) is flirting with him. 
90 5 "Malcolm Films Reese" Levie Isaacks Dan Kopelman November 30, 2003 06-03-505
Malcolm films Reese for a school psychology assignment, then discovers that he is an unwitting participant in one of Mr. Herkabe's experiments. To get back at Herkabe, he gets into his office to reveal the other students' dirty secrets. Top officials at Hal's company are arrested for embezzlement, Francis helps Otto deal with a scathing review of the Grotto, and Dewey skips school to earn money as a street performer. 
91 6 "Malcolm's Job" Steve Welch Maggie Bandur December 7, 2003 06-03-506
Reese and Malcolm get jobs at a slaughterhouse and the Lucky Aide, respectively. Malcolm catches Lois smoking at work. Hal takes a class to spend more time with Jamie, but he and the other dads soon start betting on their babies (biggest burp, fullest diaper,etc). Missing Francis, Dewey runs away to the Grotto. 
92 7 "Christmas Trees" Steve Love Alex Reid December 14, 2003 06-03-507
Hal, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey go into business selling Christmas trees. Craig is bitten by a squirrel. Otto's family visits the ranch. 
93 8 "Block Party" Levie Isaacks Rob Ulin January 4, 2004 06-03-508
Returning early from vacation, the family discovers that their neighbors have been celebrating their yearly absence with a block party. Reese and Dewey scheme to make quick cash by letting kids beat up Reese, Hal and Lois join the kielbasa-eating contest, and Malcolm inadvertently aids a burglar. Meanwhile, Francis finds himself assigned to the most disgusting job at the ranch. 
94 9 "Dirty Magazine" Bryan Cranston Eric Kaplan January 11, 2004 06-03-509
Malcolm is a part of the school newsletter team and decides to publish a student's brilliant story despite its graphic adult nature. Principal Block (Kurtwood Smith) cancels all extracurricular activities rather than "turning their high school into an adult bookstore". 
95 10 "Hot Tub" Jimmy Simons Andy Bobrow January 25, 2004 06-03-510
Hal buys a hot tub without telling Lois, but it turns into a swamp when he neglects to clean it. Malcolm gets his learner's permit while Reese steals Dewey's new friend Noah. Gretchen's former fiance, Otto's former best friend, visits the ranch. 
96 11 "Ida's Boyfriend" Peter Lauer Neil Thompson February 8, 2004 06-03-512
Ida plans to drug, marry, and bilk a Chinese man (James Hong). Malcolm gets his tongue pierced while Dewey finds the best revenge to wreak on Reese for smashing his model ship. 
97 12 "Softball" Ken Kwapis Michael Glouberman February 15, 2004 06-03-511
Malcolm joins the Lucky Aide softball team, then discovers that Lois is the coach. Francis drives cross-country to prove to Lois that he is not lazy, while Dewey dares Reese to outdo one of Francis' stunts. 
98 13 "Lois' Sister" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy February 22, 2004 06-03-513
Lois' sister Susan (Laurie Metcalf) visits, bringing Reese and Malcolm a red 1965 Mustang, Dewey a cotton-candy machine, and Jamie a $5,000 savings bond. Suspicious about this generosity, Lois eventually learns that Susan needs a new kidney and that she's still bitter that Lois stole Hal from her. Meanwhile, Francis "leads" a group of Girl Scouts on a wilderness campout journey. 
99 14 "Malcolm Dates a Family" Steve Welch Rob Ulin March 14, 2004 06-03-514
Lois boycotts the family's favorite restaurant, Luigi's; Malcolm gets more involved with his new girlfriend's (Sara Paxton) intellectual family than with her. 
100 15 "Reese's Apartment" David Grossman Dan Kopelman March 21, 2004 06-03-515
After playing a prank involving cats and county-wide evacuation, Reese moves into his own apartment and acquires a credit card. 
101 16 "Malcolm Visits College" Peter Lauer David Wright March 28, 2004 06-03-517
Malcolm looks forward to visiting college--until Lois comes along and they meet the dorm head, Leland. Dewey steals items around the house to drive Hal nuts and to build a piano. Reese pretends to be a drug dealer to go out with the school's narc. Francis and Otto try to help out at a day care. 
102 17 "Polly in the Middle" Steve Love Matthew Carlson April 25, 2004 06-03-516
Polly the babysitter (Julie Hagerty) is caught in a love triangle between Abe and Craig after Lois and Hal unknowingly set them up on dates. 
103 18 "Dewey's Special Class" David D'Ovidio Maggie Bandur May 2, 2004 06-03-519
Malcolm coaches Dewey on how to do poorly on an IQ test so he will not end up in the Krelboyne class, but the trick sends him to the emotionally disturbed "Busey" class instead. After leading the Buseys to revolt against their teacher, Dewey ends up getting Malcolm grounded when he tells Lois about his plan to keep him out of the Krelboyne class. Meanwhile, Reese tries to figure out what type of genius he is, and Hal and Craig enter a Dance Dance Revolution-style contest. 
104 19 "Experiment" Bryan Cranston Alex Reid May 2, 2004 06-03-518
Stevie and Malcolm try to figure out how Reese managed to separate two bases. Dewey sells chocolate bars by fibbing with Francis' help. Meanwhile, a pig that keeps being beat up by bigger pigs is trained by Francis to become more assertive. This results in chaos. 
105 20 "Victor's Other Family" David Grossman Eric Kaplan May 9, 2004 06-03-520
Lois, Reese, Jamie and Malcolm go to Canada to meet Victor's secret family. Things go well for them until a vengeful Ida comes for a visit and demands for Victor's pension. While helping her mother out with an upcoming lawsuit, Lois discovers who her biological father really is and abandons the case. Meanwhile, Dewey dreads Hal running with him since bad things always happen before such events between the two. Betty White guest stars as Victor's other wife, Sylvia. 
106 21 "Reese Joins the Army (Part 1)" Steve Love Andy Bobrow May 16, 2004 06-03-521
Reese runs away when Malcolm is caught with Beth (whom he initally dislike, but grew to love). Hal's company goes under à la Enron and has him arrested. Lois is stressed out when she has to take on overtime at Lucky Aide to make ends meet. 
107 22 "Reese Joins the Army (Part 2)" Pater Lauer Andrew Orenstein May 23, 2004 06-03-522
The company uses Hal as a scapegoat and Lois has become more mentally unstabled. When Francis learns that she may not be able to care for his siblings for long, he enlists Malcolm to help forge their father's signature in a legal document. Meanwhile, Reese becomes a top-class soldier in training and makes his way with his squad into Afghanistan. At the house, Malcolm encourages Hal to testify in his own defense when he reveals he has skipped work on Fridays over the years. 

Season 6: 2004–2005

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108 1 "Reese Comes Home (Part 3)" Todd Holland Matthew Carlson November 7, 2004 06-04-602
When Reese realizes the Army is too much for him to handle, he deserts and dresses as an Afghani woman. But Lois is on a march to find him, and travels to Kabul to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Malcolm volunteers at a veterans hospital as a way to make up for his guilt of making Reese leave. 
109 2 "Buseys Run Away" Bryan Cranston Michael Glouberman November 14, 2004 06-04-601
After learning that Dewey will be leaving their class, the Buseys run away and hide in trees, forcing Dewey to look after their needs. Unemployed Hal becomes the leader of a group of dimwitted body builders. 
110 3 "Standee" David D'Ovidio Rob Ulin November 21, 2004 06-04-603
When Hal and the garbageman get into a trash-dumping war (which benefits Dewey more than anyone else), Hal enlists Reese's help. Meanwhile, Lois gets her job back at Lucky Aide (off probation), and fights against Malcolm in order to take down an offensive store display of a smiling black janitor (whose nametag reads "Slappy") holding a mop and a 6-pack of malt liquor. Soon it's an all-out war between mom and son - until Lois encounters a fellow employee who offends her even more than the display does. 
111 4 "Pearl Harbor" Peter Lauer Neil Thompson December 5, 2004 06-04-604
Malcolm and Reese's teenage neighbor has tricked each of them into believing the other is gay. Meanwhile, Hal, tired of competing with a neighbor who always outdoes his Christmas decorations, decides to create his own "holiday" to decorate his house for - Pearl Harbor Day. 
112 5 "Kitty's Back" Peter Lauer Matthew Carlson December 12, 2004 06-04-606
Kitty (Merrin Dungey) returns after having done everything imaginable and wants to return to her family, to Lois's dismay. Francis comes home and puts Dewey through the torturous "Brotherhood Initiation", Malcolm helps Stevie write an acceptance speech for his etiquette award, and Reese gets a full-body sunburn so he can peel his entire body at once. 
113 6 "Hal's Christmas Gift" David Grossman Alex Reid December 19, 2004 06-04-605
Hal and Lois are strapped for cash as Christmas approaches, and things are made even worse when the now unemployed Francis and Piama (due to some shenanigan where all of Otto's checks ended up in a fake ATM and a threat to sue Francis) decide to come home for the holiday. As a result, they decide that the Christmas gifts will have to be homemade this year. When the family make much better gifts than Hal, he promises them that he's going to take them somewhere wonderful and drives around aimlessly looking for somewhere that's as amazing as he claims, open on Christmas Day and is free. However, just as things are looking their bleakest, the family discover where Malcolm really got his 'home-made' gifts from. 
114 7 "Hal Sleepwalks" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy January 16, 2005 06-04-607
Hal gets so stressed out over finding a 20th anniversary present for Lois that he starts losing sleep, which prompts Reese to try and brainwash his semiconscious father late at night. A school bully nominates two of Dewey's classmates for student body president, sparking a bizarre three-way election battle. Malcolm takes up the electric guitar despite Lois' warnings that he will fail at it, and writes a song to the tune of the Meow Mix jingle without realizing it. 
115 8 "Lois Battles Jamie" Steve Welch Michael Glouberman January 23, 2005 06-04-608
Lois begins to think she is losing her touch when Jamie seems too much for her to handle. When Hal realizes that Lois is losing her confidence, he brings Francis home in order for him to explain to Lois how was she able to have confidence as a mother. Meanwhile, the other boys bring home a diving board and Reese tries to think up the craziest possible stunt to pull with it. 
116 9 "Malcolm's Car" Peter Lauer Alex Reid January 30, 2005 06-04-610
When Malcolm spots a decrepit 1967 Plymouth Barracuda in his neighborhood, he instantly falls in love with it and purchases the car. But he gets so caught up in the difficult task of restoring it that he blows off Stevie as well as Reese who needs him for an illegal betting scheme of his. Hal, on the other hand, is having success when he stumbles upon his hidden talent—hairstyling. Lois doesn't have time to worry about Malcolm or Hal, as she is caught up in scandal between Craig and their Lucky Aide boss Fred. Craig says he is taking time off to tutor Fred's wife in golf but Lois finds out he is actually having an affair with her. 
117 10 "Billboard" Bryan Cranston Rob Ulin February 13, 2005 06-04-609
When Lois catches the boys vandalizing a trashy billboard for a strip club, Malcolm alters the vandalism into a women's rights protest, which sparks a colossal media circus. In no time, feminists, conservative religious groups and national news reporters descend on the scene. After Hal grants a TV interview, a woman from his past turns up at the faux protest; and Reese, inspired by the giant billboard stripper who comes to life in his dreams, gives an impassioned speech about the objectification of women. 
118 11 "Dewey's Opera" Linwood Boomer Eric Kaplan February 20, 2005 06-04-610
When Lois buys a brand-new king-sized bed, Hal thinks that her motive is to put more distance between them and refuses to sleep in it. Moved to tears by an opera he sees on television, Dewey is inspired to write his own operatic masterpiece, "The Marriage Bed," which is based on his parents' fight and turned into a school production. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese build their own street luge board and Malcolm gets into a feud with a mystery rider (Stevie) who keeps forcing him off the road. 
119 12 "Living Will" Steve Love Jennifer Celotta March 6, 2005 06-04-612
Hal is named executor of his neighbor's living will and must decide whether to keep him on life support or pull the plug. In attempting to make the decision, Hal discovers he is incapable of making decisions on his own because he always defers to Lois. Meanwhile, Craig asks Malcolm, Reese and Dewey to teach him how to fight dirty since a bully (his father) from his childhood is coming to town. 
120 13 "Tiki Lounge" Peter Lauer Jay Kogen March 13, 2005 06-04-613
When Hal and Lois realize how little time they spend together, Hal turns the garage into a private tiki lounge where he and Lois can retreat. Things go smoothly until they feud over philosophical beliefs. Meanwhile, Mr. Herkabe cons Malcolm into joining the Booster Club, where he learns a lesson about taking one for the team. 
121 14 "Ida Loses a Leg" Steve Welch Andy Bobrow March 20, 2005 06-04-614
During Grandma Ida's unwelcome visit with the family, she loses her leg while saving Dewey from a moving truck. Consumed with guilt, Dewey is determined to find Ida's leg and give it the proper burial. Francis, on the other hand, begrudgingly becomes the caretaker for his stubborn, cranky grandmother. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese get a new idea for a prank that forces them to stay awake for days on end to avoid the embarrassment of having their faces glued to the floor. 
122 15 "Chad's Sleepover" David D'Ovidio Rob Ulin March 27, 2005 06-04-615
After Hal forbids Dewey from inviting his peculiar classmate Chad over for a sleepover, Dewey quickly finds out that his father had good reason to warn him. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese find out that they are not as popular as they once thought, then plot "revenge" on their classmates, as Lois searches for the warranty papers on her 10-year-old blender. As she searches for it, Chad places an envelope at the end of Lois's papers containing a pornographic photo of a sleeping Lois taken by a drunk Hal. 
123 16 "No Motorcycles" Jimmy Simons Andy Bobrow April 3, 2005 06-04-618
When Francis and Piama choose to celebrate Francis' 21st birthday at the house, Hal is reminded of a promise he made to his son as a young child, involving a motorcycle trip that Lois quickly forbids. Hal and Francis have no choice but to sneak off for their wild adventure, leaving their women behind. Meanwhile Malcolm, Dewey and Reese are held captive in their own home by a bully. 
124 17 "Butterflies" David Grossman Michael Glouberman April 10, 2005 06-04-616
Malcolm discovers a man, Norm, living in the Lucky Aide. He agrees to keep Norm's secret as long as he provides Malcolm with tidbits on his new crush, a fellow Lucky Aide employee. Meanwhile, when Reese takes a job as an exterminator, he quickly learns that to drum up business he must infest the neighbors' lawns with caterpillars. But instead of spreading the pests, he has a change of heart and begins to nurture them, only to be overwhelmed when they turn into butterflies and swarm on him. 
125 18 "Ida's Dance" Steve Welch Eric Kaplan April 17, 2005 06-04-619
Lois goes over to visit Ida, but gets unpleasantly surprised by the St. Grotus Day festival. Malcolm fails a music appreciation course, and reluctantly goes to Dewey for help. Reese and Hal secretly watch scary movies while Lois is not around, but it ends up revealing some unexpected secrets about both Reese and Hal. 
126 19 "Motivational Speaker" Steve Love Rob Ulin April 24, 2005 06-04-620
Reese begins hanging out with a pack of dogs, and in the end, the police catches him doing the most unbelievable thing. Dewey gets in trouble with Lois, after Lois finds out that he is seeing another mom, and Hal accidentally becomes a motivational speaker with his co-workers, but drops it when he motivates a man into taking over his job. 
127 20 "Stilts" Linwood Boomer Michael Glouberman May 1, 2005 06-04-622
After Lois and Hal are reminded of the tight budget they must uphold, Hal discovers one of his boys has been dialing a 900 number. His attempt to explain the error to the hotline's billing department turns awry when he forgets to hang up the phone, incurring a whopping $800 charge. Meanwhile, Reese takes a job at a research clinic that pays him to pop experimental pills, leading to absolute misery and a ride on police horse, and a reluctant Malcolm takes on a mortifying job at the Lucky Aide as a costumed Uncle Sam on stilts. Finally, Dewey discovers Jaime is finding old things Francis hid from Lois, but when they turn out to be stolen, it becomes clear Francis pawned them off. 
128 21 "Buseys Take a Hostage" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy May 8, 2005 06-04-621
When Hal decides to attend his first annual Neighborhood Association meeting with Malcolm, he is strongly encouraged to take on the role of President. Being his dad's right-hand man, Malcolm sees a perfect opportunity to add some excitement to the community, while Hal's agenda is a little bit different. Meanwhile, Francis takes on a new job as a camp activities coordinator and turns to Dewey for his input on some creative new games. While Dewey revels in his afternoon of fun, his fed-up classmates take their teacher, principal and janitor hostage. 
129 22 "Mrs. Tri-County" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy May 15, 2005 06-04-617
Unbeknownst to Lois, the boys enter her in the Mrs. Tri-County Pageant as a joke. When they overhear the other contestants remarking that Lois doesn't have a chance of winning, they plot to help their mother take the crown. Meanwhile, Malcolm is blackmailed into delivering love notes to a contestant for Herkabe, and Reese discovers that, according to the Mrs. Tri-County Pageant manual's scientific formula, he is beautiful. 

Season 7: 2005–2006

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130 1 "Burning Man" Peter Lauer Michael Glouberman September 30, 2005 (2005-09-30) 06-05-701
Malcolm and Reese's attempt to hitch their way to the annual Burning Man festival, turns into a family vacation when Hal and Lois get in on it. Meanwhile, Dewey does all the chores. 
131 2 "Health Insurance" Steve Welch Rob Ulin October 7, 2005 (2005-10-07) 06-05-702
Hal finds out that the family has been without health insurance for six months and tries to safeguard the house until Monday (when the insurance is put back into effect). Meanwhile, Lois tries to fish out a snitch at the Lucky Aide. 
132 3 "Reese vs Stevie" Linwood Boomer Alex Reid October 21, 2005 (2005-10-21) 06-05-703
An angry Reese threatens Stevie, who dreads a retaliation; Dewey gets hooked on cigarettes, thanks to ex-smoker Hal's many stashes around the house. Lois tries to get little Jamie to talk by telling him her modern life and her high school years. When the time comes for Reese and Stevie to fight, Reese tries to make it fair by turning his legs limp in ice water, but Stevie has done just the opposite, and steals a robot exoskeleton to take revenge. 
133 4 "Halloween" David D'Ovidio Andy Bobrow October 28, 2005 (2005-10-28) 06-05-704
Hal freaks out when Malcolm gives him the details of a grisly mass murder that occurred in the house years ago. Lois gets stuck working on Halloween and catches a shoplifter as everyone else at Lucky Aide throws a wild party. Reese and Dewey lose track of Jamie as they flee from an old man after egging his house, while Lois gets arrested for kidnapping when she picks up the wrong child. 
134 5 "Jessica Stays Over" Alex Reid Matthew Carlson November 4, 2005 (2005-11-04) 06-05-705
Jessica moves in on a temporary basis and teaches Malcolm how to manipulate others, but when he uses her tricks on Lois he feels something he has never felt before, empathy. Meanwhile, after he harvests some fresh honey, Hal fights back against a bee who is out for revenge for killing the rest of his hive. Reese attempts to mail himself to China in a crate and Dewey has him convinced that he has been in there for months. 
135 6 "Secret Boyfriend" Peter Lauer Gary Murphy November 11, 2005 (2005-11-11) 06-05-706
Malcolm's in love with a hot and secretly brainy teen named Vicki (Sarah Wright) who fears ruining her image by seeing him publicly. Reese is kicked out of the house for refusing to get a job. 
136 7 "Blackout" Steve Welch Eric Kaplan November 18, 2005 (2005-11-18) 06-05-707
A power outage disrupts Lois and Hal's anniversary and reveals Malcolm's trysts with young European women, while Reese tries to cook Kobe beef for Hal and Francis tries to steal a fish. The entire sequence of events is revealed through several replays from different points of view. 
137 8 "Army Buddy" Peter Lauer Neil Thompson December 2, 2005 (2005-12-02) 06-05-708
Reese's old army buddy, Abby (Larisa Oleynik) visits and she has feelings for Lois. Reese takes it the wrong way, believing he has a shot at her. 
138 9 "Malcolm Defends Reese" Bryan Cranston Matthew Carlson December 16, 2005 (2005-12-16) 06-05-709
Malcolm and Reese end up in the same class since Reese failed the previous year. Mr. Herkabe, who may lose his award for the school's highest GPA to Malcolm. He gleefully humiliates Reese every day until he agrees to start failing his classes. Hell hath no fury when Malcolm gets his revenge on Herkabe by telling the principal, Mr. Hodges (Steve Vinovich), his teacher's secret. He immediately revokes Mr. Herkabe's GPA award as his punishment for flunking Gym and returns it to Edna Thornby. End result: Herkabe has to retake gym and endures humiliation with Reese tossing dodgeballs at him. Meanwhile, Jamie's new babysitter (Kathryn Joosten) drives Lois crazy with her nonstop talking. 
139 10 "Malcolm's Money" Steve Love Michael Glouberman January 6, 2006 (2006-01-06) 06-05-710
Malcolm begins to fuss about his high school yearbook photo. Malcolm receives a $10,000 education reward and when Hal and Lois find out, they want to spend it on themselves. 
140 11 "Bride of Ida (Part 1)" Linwood Boomer Rob Ulin January 13, 2006 (2006-01-13) 06-05-711
Dewey, Lois and Hal go out of town to a piano competition. Without Lois around, Grandma Ida makes Reese get married to Ida's helper, Raduca (Rheagan Wallace), but only if he defeats Malcolm in three challenges. When Lois, Dewey and Hal return, they find out that Reese has run with Raduca to Las Vegas to get married, much to Ida's dismay. 
141 12 "College Recruiters (Part 2)" Peter Lauer Jay Kogen January 29, 2006 (2006-01-29) 06-05-712
A broke Francis gets talked into getting a real job by Dewey. Back home, Hal takes over the college recruiters, which Malcolm refuses to meet with, and treats each one as a suitor. However, Hal's plans are ruined when Malcolm chooses to go to Harvard. Reese and Raduca's marriage ends when Lois and Reese catch Raduca cheating with her other lover, Bela. 
142 13 "Mono" David D'Ovidio Andy Bobrow February 12, 2006 (2006-02-12) 06-05-713
Lois discovers she has mono after a visit to the doctor. She then ends up giving it to Malcolm after her maternal instincts begin. As a result, both Lois and Malcolm are forced to spend two weeks together in the same room. Meanwhile, Hal is invited to all of his neighbors' parties after they know Lois will not be attending any of them. Dewey makes Jamie his slave. 
143 14 "Hal Grieves" Christopher Kennedy Masterson Eric Kaplan February 19, 2006 (2006-02-19) 06-05-714
Hal gets a devastating phone call that his father has died, but because he never knew his father, he does not shed a tear. In an attempt to overcompensate with his sons, Hal takes the boys shopping, lets them miss school and offers to buy Malcolm a new car until Lois steps in. Hal's buddy Abe thinks that a phone call from Leonard Nimoy , a cast member of Star Trek: The Original Series will cheer him up. Instead, George Takei calls up. 
144 15 "A.A." Steve Welch Al Higgins March 5, 2006 (2006-03-05) 06-05-715
Lois and Hal visit Francis to help him celebrate one year of sobriety, but when they attend his A.A. meeting, they find out that Lois was the one who drove him to drink. Meanwhile, Dewey finds the spare key to Hal's car, but when Malcolm and Reese refuse to drive him to the arcade, it takes them more than 12 steps to find it - in his stomach
145 16 "Lois Strikes Back" Alex Reid Gary Murphy March 19, 2006 (2006-03-19) 06-05-716
When four popular high school girls play an evil prank on Reese by pretending he has a secret admirer and then dropping a pig off at his front door, Lois comes to his rescue with a series of destructive pranks. 
146 17 "Hal's Dentist" Steve Love Jay Kogen March 26, 2006 (2006-03-26) 06-05-717
Hal's friend Trey tells him to come to his dental office when he loses a tooth during a poker game, but their friendship goes into jeopardy when Hal's faced with a $2,000 bill and causes a fight between them. Meanwhile, Reese teaches Lois how to ride a bike. Malcolm and Dewey find sleeping as their new favorite pastime after finding a new mattress in the street. 
147 18 "Bomb Shelter" Matthew Carlson Rob Ulin April 2, 2006 (2006-04-02) 06-05-719
Malcolm joins a local dance class to impress a girl, but when she loses her footing in rehearsal, he realizes that he needs a more talented partner in order to win the competition. Reese and Dewey discover an underground bomb shelter in the backyard and lock Hal in it, while Lois tries to win a new truck at the shopping mall. Hal soon discovers the bomb shelter is paradise, and Lois plays dirty for the truck. 
148 19 "Stevie in the Hospital" Steve Welch Dave Ihlenfeld & David Wright April 9, 2006 (2006-04-09) 06-05-720
When Stevie goes to the hospital, Malcolm tries making up every excuse he can think of to not go because he can't face the truth about his illness. Meanwhile, Hal gets highly competitive about his new remote control boat, Lois thinks Dewey is trying to drive her insane (Because she made Dewey get an F on his volcano because she didn't buy baking soda), and Reese's new job as a telemarketer takes a bizarre turn. 
149 20 "Cattle Court" Peter Lauer Michael Glouberman April 16, 2006 (2006-04-16) 06-05-718
Reese meets a cute vegetarian named Carrie (Tara Lipinski) when he goes back to work at the meat plant. He goes along with her politics talk at first, but she catches him with a pork chop. So, to get Carrie back, he sets free all the cows at the meat plant. Meanwhile, Malcolm tries to fool Lois in order to attend a rock concert, only to end up making Craig miserable. Craig decides to make a trip around the world on a motorcycle, only to get trampled by said freed cows, then make one final attempt to be with Lois, just to find out it will never, ever happen. 
150 21 "Morp" David D'Ovidio Gary Murphy April 23, 2006 (2006-04-23) 06-05-721
For the senior prom, Reese gets paid to take Janine, a studious girl in class, but only after she gives him a makeover and sends him to finishing school. Malcolm aligns himself with the unpopular kids to form an anti-prom they call "Morp". Dewey discovers there aren't any childhood pictures of him, so he concocts an elaborate scavenger hunt to punish Hal and Lois and throw a party for Jamie. 
151 22 "Graduation" Linwood Boomer Michael Glouberman May 14, 2006 (2006-05-14) 06-05-722
In the series finale, Malcolm struggles with his valedictorian speech, Hal finds out that the family may not have enough money to send Malcolm to college. The boys decide that Jamie should have the childhood they never got, one free of threats. As such, they destroy their "nuclear option," evidence of the worst thing they ever did: fake an X-ray of Lois having cancer to sneak away with bad report cards, and a way to destroy each other if someone had nothing to lose. Francis finds the 9 to 5 job of his dreams but won't let Lois know, Reese tries to be a permanent janitor, enlisting Ida's help, and three months later, Lois is pregnant yet again. When Lois denies him the chance of a lifetime, Malcolm discovers that Lois and Hal plan for him to become president

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